


infinite loops: pro wrestling edition

by Nyame



Category: Professional Wrestling, World Wrestling Entertainment
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Angst and Humor, Gen, Multi, Multiple Crossovers, Time Loop, Time Travel Fix-It, infinite loops
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-03-04
Packaged: 2019-10-23 11:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,547
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17682773
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyame/pseuds/Nyame
Summary: Dean Ambrose wakes up the week before the Shield debuts. Again and again and again. It’s a while before he understands why. (Time Loop AU, using the Infinite Loops setting)





	1. The Anchor: Dean Ambrose

**Author's Note:**

> **Notes:**  Written in response to the announcement that Dean Ambrose is leaving WWE. Whether that's true or not is unclear; it may be a work, but I haven't watched WWE in the last couple of months, so I can't say.
> 
> Also, because I always wanted to do an Infinite Loops-style fic with wrestling.
> 
> * * *
> 
>  **Warning:**  This story will be a mixture of kayfabe compliance and real person-fiction (if only tangentially), with a touch of smark humor. This story will also delve into other periods of wrestling history, with mentions of wrestlers who are long-deceased and/or controversial. This includes Owen Hart, Eddie Guerrero, and, reluctantly, Chris Benoit. While I will strive to minimize the mentions/roles of the wrestlers, their presence in unavoidable, if only so the story maintains accuracy and genuineness.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean lives his life over and over again. He thinks he's the only one.
> 
> He isn't.

The Anchor: Dean Ambrose

Dean tries not to remember the first few lives.

The first few lives are filled with hardship and pain and asking  _whywhywhywhy_  and working out years,  _years_ , of frustration over nothing and everything and—

No, he doesn't like to remember the first few lives.

The first life after those, however, is another matter. He remembers that life quite well. It'd be hard not to, after all.

It was the first life he stopped wrestling.

It wouldn't be the last.

* * *

See, the thing is, wrestling was  _everything_  to him.  **Everything**.

He lived it, breathed it, centered it so deep into his soul that there was barely any room for anything or anyone else. Dean didn't really begin to live until he first stepped into that ring. He figured he'd die on the indies, if he could still manage a decent drop kick into his old age. Because if he couldn't, then he'd disappear from the world because what was the world to him without wrestling?

However, that was his first life. And then came his second, and then his third, and then more pass by and suddenly, Dean started getting  _tired_. Tired of constantly throwing himself at people for a little bit of recognition and some gas money, in hopes someday making it to a place that could give him a decent wage. Tired of the betrayals, of every boy in the locker room eyeing him like he was another rung to climb up the ladder. Tired of waking up everyday in pain, wonder if this was going to be it, if this was when his body would finally break.

Dean had wanted to do wrestling for the rest of his life.

But that was when he thought he only had  **one** life.

So, one day, a week before the Shield, the day Paul Heyman calls him and gives him a choice that forever changes the wrestling world, Dean says no. Dean says no, and takes his savings and finds something else to do for all the years that follow.

The first time is hard. Harder than anything else before, because there are few prospects for a professional wrestler, for a man who graduated from high school without a thought about college. So he goes for the easiest option: acting.

Dean's been an actor of course — when Seth had put him out with the cinder blocks, Dean had went ahead and filmed a movie to kill time. It wasn't Oscar-worthy, but people thought he was great in it, so he probably didn't do  _too_  badly. That didn't stop him from getting back at Seth for the cinder blocks in one of his first lives, though.

So Dean goes ahead and hires an agent and auditions for a few roles. He starts off small, bit parts and commercials, but then his opportunities increase. Minor roles in a couple of relatively popular TV Shows, a few more B-Movies, and then he gets cast for one of those art house films, the kind that  _do_  win Oscars.

The next year, he has an Oscar on the shelf.

Suddenly, he's  _everywhere_. Every studio in the world wants a contract with him, every director in Hollywood salivating at the chance to work with him. People who he had never known beyond names and faces on magazines and billboards and TV screens are clamoring to speak with him. It's the kind of hectic that would've driven him insane had he not had some experience dealing with it as a wrestler.

Dean deals with it with as much grace as he can. He takes on bigger budget films and gets proportional returns for his work, he trades up his agent and chats with sponsors and paparazzi to keep his image as clean as he can manage. More awards follow the Oscar, and when he dies again, it's with a wall dyed gold and a bank account fatter than the ones in all the lives he spent in WWE,  _combined_.

It's a good life, but not without pitfalls and so, the next life Dean has is not as an actor. He goes to college, instead. First community college and then university and then he has a job. A normal job, one that garners little to no acclaim but ten times more relaxing than the limelight, whether it's with a thousand cameras snapping at him in every second of his life or between the ropes, laying atop a sweaty canvas with a crowd of thousands that never falls silent.

He's a doctor, an engineer, a scientist, everything he can think of, everything under the sun. He's traveled around the world, been everywhere, and it's only as he's doing these things does he finally see the wideness of it all. Wrestling was wrestle and go, with few breaks in-between. Now, he can savor it all, make it last until it's so embedded into his mind that it'll take the back of a hammer to rip it away.

* * *

Dean doesn't like to think about Renee.

He never stops loving Renee. Never. But his love fades bit by bit, with every life that passes by that sees him all on his lonesome. It's still  _there_ , but it is but one photograph on a wall of memories. He loves Renee, will  _always_  love Renee, but the Renee he loves is dead. And the one he finds in every life is different, and he realizes that it's her ghost he seeks now. So Dean does all he can do — he lets go and moves on.

He falls in love with others. Men, women, it doesn't matter. He falls in love, and even though they only stay with him for one life, they're in all his heart regardless. He may have been alone in his plight, but he was never lonely. He made sure of it.

There are no children, though. Never. No matter how hard he tries, no matter the method, he never has children. It's painful, but he endures.

He's no stranger to pain, after all.

* * *

So Dean keeps living different lives, an ever-changing immortal in a never-changing world until, well—

—Until he learns what  _exactly_  is going on.

* * *

Dean wakes up, expecting his ratty old apartment in the dead-end of Florida. The same place he's woken up after every death in God knows how many years.

Except he doesn't.

Instead, he wakes up in a brightly-colored house that is completely unfamiliar for him. A house that looks like it was painted by a four-year old girl. He thens looks at himself in the mirror.

It takes everything he has not to scream.

He was no longer human.

No, instead he was a  _horse_. A horse with orange fur, brown hair, and a  **horn**  on his forehead. He was a unicorn.  _A unicorn_.

Dean Ambrose reacted like any other grown man who had woken up to discover they were a pastel-colored mythological creature.

"What the fuck."

And then he fainted.

* * *

When he came to, he realized that yes, he was still a unicorn, and that was unlikely to change anytime soon. After freaking out for another half-hour, Dean finally got a hold of himself and decided that staying inside wasn't helping anyone, least of all him. If he wanted to know what was going on, the only option he had left was to go outside. Hopefully no one would attack him over his new appearance.

Oddly enough, it wasn't hard for him to open the door, despite the distinct lack of fingers, particularly thumbs. If it weren't for the fact that he was wal- _trotting_  everywhere on four hooves, he could almost pretend everything was normal, as normal as his life could get. He almost did succumb to that hopeful fantasy, because reality was no longer  _reality_.

Then he looked outside, and the illusion shattered.

Ponies. Ponies  _everywhere_. Ponies acting like  _everything was normal_.

Now Dean  _really_  wanted to scream.

_What the hell is going on?_

"Dean Ambrose?" A voice, light and calm, broke through his existential crisis.

Dean turned around.

There was another pony there. Female, by the looks of it. She had a purple coat and purple hair, sans a single streak of hot pink running from top to bottom. She also had a horn, but she also had wings, so he had no idea what to classify her as. Her eyes were wide and kind, and Dean has no idea what he's about to say to her.

"We've been waiting for you at the School of Friendship, you know." The pony reminded him gently. "When you didn't show up, we figured you were lost, and I went ahead to go get you. Come, I'll show you where the school is."

"Where am I?" Dean suddenly blurted out, lost and confused.

The pony paused, and peered at him closely.

"Why am I a pony?" He asked again, hoping he wouldn't pass for whatever crazy was considered here. The term had started to get really annoying by the end of his first WWE career.

That question seemed to spark something in the fem- _mare, that_ _'s what they're called_ -mare's eyes.

She took a deep breath. "Dean, have you been repeating you life? Over and over again?"

For the second time today, Dean's world shattered.

"How do you know about that?" He asked, a little more roughly than he intended.

The mare took no offense, and simply smiled comfortingly at him.

"My name is Twilight Sparkle." The newly-introduced Twilight said. "Come with me. I'll explain everything to you."

* * *

Dean sat rigidly, watching silently as Twilight used her magic to pour him a cup of tea. Idly, he wondered if he could do that too — he had that horn for a reason, after all.

Mostly, however, he was waiting. Waiting for answers that he though he would never have, these last few millennia.

"I've called the school." Twilight began. "They're aware that you won't be available today."

"Thank you." Dean said, not exactly knowing what he was thanking her for. School?

Twilight smiled knowingly at him. "You must have a lot of questions."

"More than I can count." The wrestler murmured. "But I think I should start with the biggest one." He took a deep breath.

"Why am I repeating my life?"

The mare gazed at him. Then, without warning, she made some sort of gesture, and suddenly a book appeared out of thin air. She handed it to him. After a moment's hesitation, he took it, looking at Twilight in confusion.

Instead of answering his unasked question, Twilight asked one of her own. "Have you ever heard of the multiverse theory?"

Dean blinked, and frowned. "Yes." It had been covered in-depth in one of the many college classes he had taken over the years. "I take it the theory is correct?"

Twilight nodded, and then started… _drawing_  something with her magic. It looked like a tree.

"This is Yggdrasil, the World Tree. It's a computer that contains and runs the multiverse. Years and years ago,  _something_  happened. Nobody knows how or what, but it didn't matter in the end. Yggdrasil was damaged, and to save all of existence, the gods needed to repair it."

"But in order to repair it," Twilight continued, "they needed to save the programs, the  _universes_ , within the World Tree, from deletion. And to do that, they decided to put these universes on 'safe mode' — by making them loop over and over again. Most of the inhabitants of these universes, except for the most important ones, do not remember these loops. They go about their lives the same way, every single time, without even a hint of knowing what is to come."

"I take it, then, I am one of these 'important ones'?" Dean asked, skeptical. His first occupation was hardly integral to anything except his livelihood. And even then, it could've been argued to be a detriment to that too.

"Yes." Twilight asserted. "See, in order to loop these universes, the god in charge — called an 'Admin' — needs an 'Anchor' for that reality. To determine this Anchor, they have to look at the universe's 'baseline' and select the person that best fits the criteria for that universe's ideal Anchor."

"Baseline?"

Twilight nodded. "Baseline is the main storyline, for lack of a better word. Each universe in Yggdrasil has a 'story' happening inside it. Whether this story is known to everyone or only a select few, it doesn't matter — this 'story' is the core of the universe, and the 'characters' in it are the most stable 'data points' in the system. One of these 'data points' acts as the Anchor."

Dean took in all this information, and his mind was running on overdrive. If he took in his usual start point, then that meant baseline was his WWE career — no, it was WWE from the debut of the Shield to whatever endpoint had been determined for the loop. He had noticed, sometimes, that his lives would restart before he actually died, but he had assumed he had died too quickly to realize what was happening. Now he knew better. It was simply the loop reaching it's pre-determined endpoint and stopping and restarting a new one.

And that meant…

"I'm the Anchor for my world." Dean breathed in. "But what am I doing in yours?"

Twilight tilted her head. "There are three different types of loops: baseline loops, baseline variant loops, and fused loops. Baseline loops are just that — reiterations of baseline. Baseline variant loops are where your world runs on the same general mechanics and is virtually indistinguishable from baseline, except for a fundamental change that can't be reversed. You could be born as a girl one loop, or someone else in your baseline is. Or in another loop, an important event that happened in baseline didn't, and changed all the subsequent events in your loop."

"The loop we're currently in is neither of the those types. This loop is a fused loop. It's where two separate universes are temporarily merged to run a loop together. It's typically used to make sure loopers don't become too stir-crazy and keep whatever's left of their sanity."

"Why?" Dean realized he had been saying that word a  _lot_  today.

"Dean, the ultimate goal of the Admins is to repair Yggdrasil, and the Anchors are key to that." Twilight said, taking a sip of her tea. "There are some loops that end prematurely. When that happens, we call it 'crashing the loop'. Crashing is  _strongly_  discouraged, because all it does is damage Yggdrasil and create more work for the Admins. There are many different ways to crash a loop, but the most common and easiest way to do is to kill the Anchor. As the Anchor is the linchpin of the loop, their death terminates it automatically."

"So Anchors need to stay sane, so they don't kill themselves?" Dean guessed, saying each word slowly.

Twilight smiled solemnly. "It's not common, but it does happen, especially with newbie Anchors. That's another reason why fused loops were created — so new loopers could learn about the Loops and the multiverse and understand the importance of their role."

Dean nodded absentmindedly. "I guess that's why I'm having a fused loop with you, then."

"Most likely." Twilight agreed.

* * *

The conversation continued for some time. Dean was amazed to learn that much of the popular media in his world were their own separate universes and also looping. That there was a strong possibility he'd get meet the likes of Harry Potter and Luke Skywalker. While he wasn't quite the level of nerd Seth or the New Day or most of the main roster was, he couldn't deny the level of giddiness he felt just thinking about it.

Yet, as exciting as that was, there was no more relief than the fact that he wouldn't be alone in his world for much longer. According to Twilight, other loopers should be joining him soon. While it hurt that they wouldn't be there for  _every_  loop, the fact that they would be there for a lot of them was enough. With them here, Dean could finally see the Loops as an adventure, and not a burden, like all the loopers that had come before them.

Not all of the information Twilight gave him was peaches and cream, though. He was also given a comprehensive overview of the three major Syndromes that loopers were susceptible to, one of which Twilight professed to have witnessed firsthand. Of particular worry was Sakura Syndrome; Dean was not looking forward to his first meeting with Sakura Haruno, that was for sure. Just thinking about it made him think about it made him shudder.

Then there were the Malevolent Looping Entities, or MLEs for short. Dean knew the importance of getting stronger to protect his world from these threats, but that didn't make him any less scared. Even before the loops started he had been of the fearless sort, and after that that trait only had become more prominent. Now, however, he couldn't help but shiver when thinking of dealing with most of these MLEs.

The book Twilight had given him was both a guide and a brief, but comprehensive history of the looping community thus far. It was to not only aid him in his progress as a looper, but also in helping ease in new loopers. Now that he was in the process of becoming a fully-fledged member of the looping community, there was a high likelihood his Admin would start activating more loopers in his home loop. It would be his job to help these loopers acclimatize to their new situation.

"Twilight." Dean fingered through the book, looking at pictures of the Original Seven, "How long will the loops last?"

Twilight swallowed. "We don't know."

Dean looked up from his reading, a sharp look on his face. "Are you sure?"

Twilight sighed. "Dean, I've had millions — no,  _billions_  of loops. The Original Seven have had even more. And yet, according to my last talk with my Admin, Yggdrasil is no closer to being repaired than it was when it was first damaged. The loops  _will_  end, that much I can assure you, but as for when? Well, I'm just as clueless as you are."

The wrestler stared at her, and seeing no deception, simply closed his book and rubbed circles into his temples. "Then I guess I'm in this for the long haul. Might as well get my introduction in order."

The alicorn smiled at him. "Very well. My name is Twilight Sparkle, I'm the Anchor of the My Little Pony Loop."

"Hello, Twilight." Dean replies, smirking. "I'm Dean Ambrose. Anchor of the Professional Wrestling Loop."

* * *

Dean spends the rest of the loop learning what it means to be a looper. Twilight tutors him in accessing his Subspace Pocket and using pings, on top of his lessons in Friendship and unicorn magic. The latter was much easier than he thought he would be, perhaps because he now knew the presence of loop memories. Thinking back, there had been changes — small changes, changes he could disregard — in some of his previous loops, and he taken them in stride because he was subconsciously accessing his loop memories.

Most of all, however, he was  _enjoying_  himself. Back in his home loop, he had barely begun to notice the tediousness of repeating life over and over again, because he kept on doing different things every life. Even so, he had been to every corner in the world before his first fused loop, so event the appeal of traveling had been lost to him. Not so with the Multiverse. He wouldn't be bored for a very, very long time.

And so, as he watched Cozy Glow escorted away by the Princesses and their guards, he turned to Twilight and said, "Thank you."

Twilight glowed at him, bright. "Think nothing of it, Dean." She pulled him into a hug, which he returned warmly. "We'll see each other next time, okay?"

* * *

The next night, when he wakes up in that ratty old apartment in the dead-end of Florida, he smiles.

* * *

It isn't long before he gets another fused loop. It seems his Admin is intent in making sure he gets a full tour of the Multiverse before he meets his first local looper. Dean doesn't mind.

The next time, it's in a decently-sized apartment for a bachelor in Washington D.C. Dean checks his loop memories, sends out a ping (and receives several in return) then dresses up, strapping on his badge and his gun before driving to work. Thankfully, he had done several stints in law enforcement, so he had a general idea of what was expected of him for this loop.

After parking his car, he used his loop memories to navigate through the unfamiliar building, until he made it to a familiar elevator, and then a familiar setting. Spotting a flash of silver hair, he walks towards his desk, his backup slung over his shoulder.

"Hello, Boss." Dean lifted a hand in greeting. "You look a little tired. Are you Awake yet?"

Leroy Jethro Gibbs gave him an unimpressed look. "Newbie looper?"

Dean blinked at being called out like that so blatantly. "…Yeah?"

"Who gave you the speech?"

Well, there was no point trying to put up an act any longer. "Twilight Sparkle."

Gibbs hummed. "Lucky. Twilight never leaves a looper half-baked." He peered at Dean closely. "Though she does leave the decorating for the rest of us. What's your name, kid?"

Dean almost bristled at being called a kid, but then again, compared to the rest of the looping community, he  _was_  a kid. God, that was going to be hard to get used to again. "Dean Ambrose. I'm the Anchor of the newly initiated Professional Wrestling Loop."

"Leroy Jethro Gibbs, but you will call me either Gibbs or Boss. I'm the Anchor of the NCIS Loop."

"I figured." Dean said. At Gibbs' questioning look, he elaborated quickly. "My loop is a near-Hub type."

"Ah." Gibbs said knowingly. "Well then, I guess you already know most of my loopers, including who you're replacing."

"Nick Torres, right?" Dean said, searching his loop memories. That had been his original name before it was changed, at least in this loop.

"Mmm. He's a newbie like you. Our Admin has had him bouncing around a couple of fused loops lately, trying to broaden horizons a bit. I guess the same is for you?"

"Considering that this is my second fused loop…"

"Yup." Gibbs cut him off. "Definitely for you. Come on. I'll give you a quick tour and crash course, and then we're off to our first case."

* * *

The next fused loop wasn't nearly as subdued.

Dean watched wide-eyed as Sasuke Uchiha casually burned his baseline wife with black flames after a very  _disturbing_  comment. Sakura Haruno, for her part, didn't scream — and soon the flames were gone, as if they had never been there in the first place. She herself was completely unharmed. As the two continued to casually speak with one another, Dean turned to Naruto Uzumaki, completely in disbelief.

"Welcome to the Naruto Loop, Dean." Naruto cheekily said instead.

* * *

The next loop, he was ten years old, pint-sized and staring up the biggest treehouse he had ever seen.

"Welcome to the Kids Next Door Loop." Nigel Uno smirked.

* * *

"Welcome to the Steven Universe Loop!" Steven Universe exclaimed brightly, balancing on a hollow, translucent pink sphere.

* * *

"Welcome to the Ranma 1/2 Loop." Ranma Saotome held out his hand, and Dean's knees buckled immediately due to the strength of his grip.

* * *

"Welcome to the One Piece Loop!" Monkey D. Luffy swung by, and Dean goggled at how his  _arm_  was serving as the vine.

* * *

"Welcome to the—"

* * *

"—Sailor Moon—"

* * *

"—Star Wars—"

* * *

"—Camp Camp—"

* * *

"—Hogwarts—"

* * *

"—Code Geass—"

* * *

"—Avatar—"

* * *

"—Power Ranger—"

* * *

"—Loop!"

* * *

Finally, after slews of fused loops, occasionally interspersed with baseline variant loops, Dean finally has a regular baseline loops again. Armed with knowledge and abilities far beyond anyone in his world could hope to achieve for the time being, the idea of wrestling becomes appealing again. His worldview has been broadened, but gazing at the horizon, he longs for the familiarity of a four-sided ring.

That being said, he doesn't go back to WWE. Not yet. He has a complete guide to his career thanks to his visit to the Hub, where he was professional wrestler Jonathan Good, the man who played Dean Ambrose and Jon Moxley on TV/DVD, and he could easily replicate those events. However, Dean wants more to the life than just that, living through HWA and CZW and then, to FCW, NXT, and WWE. There are other wrestling companies after all, and other styles of wrestling to learn.

So that's what he does. Learn. He goes to Japan and immerses himself in strong style. To Mexico and below, and applies himself to the Lucha Libre. To the United Kingdom and Ireland, and anywhere he can learn a new form of wrestling. A new  _lifestyle_  of wrestling.

Then he travels promotion after promotion, big and small, both known and unknown. He goes to them and wrestles in them until he becomes the star of them. And if, if they're one of those who have the potential to be more, then he manipulates and takes control and  _makes_  them more. He's had experience in running businesses before, after all, and wrestling promotions aren't that different, especially when you're a wrestler yourself.

It's during a loop where he decides to become a Ring of Honor wrestler that he suspects he has gotten his first looper. It's several more loops before he learns he's right.

* * *

Dean Awakens to that ceiling, and thinks,  _This is it. I_ _'m going back to WWE this loop_. And then, he hears someone rings his doorbell.

_Huh. That_ _'s a new one_.

He makes sure he's somewhat presentable, and satisfied, goes to open the door. A visiting looper, perhaps? He had been through quite a number of fused loops so word must have spread about him, enough to for at least some to know to come to him.

He opens the door to see Sami Zayn on the other side.

"Why were you in ROH?" The Syrian demands.

_Oh. Well I was_ sorta  _right._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is my way of grieving that Dean is leaving WWE. I'm hoping it's a work but I'm accepting that it probably isn't it. And either way, I've always wanted to do a fic like this.
> 
> For you Shield fans, Seth and Roman will become loopers. However, it will be a while before they start looping. This is mainly for narrative purposes. It'd be too easy for Dean if the two people closest to him started looping first. While technically that's supposed to happen anyway, I have a sufficient explanation as for why that didn't happen.
> 
> As far as pairings go, I'm undecided. If I do decide to do pairings, it will either be Dean/Renee or Ambrollins. Others will be added as time goes on.
> 
> The Infinite Loops are a pre-existing fandom/project. They even have their own TV Tropes page, if you want to check it out.
> 
> While this story will use the Infinite Loops' mechanics and prompt, I must stress that it is  _not_  an official member of the Infinite Loops project. Fics that  _are_  official members of the IL on FFN and AO3 are compilations of shorts that are written on SpaceBattles threads by authors who collaborate to shape their respective setting. This story is and, unless I change my mind, will continue to be  _my_   _work only_. This is partially because I'm not sure how many hardcore wrestling fans are on SB, and partially because I'm not patient enough to see if my work is approved by the required number of authors.
> 
> If you have questions about the IL setting, please hold off on them. There will be more exploration about the setting in subsequent chapters.
> 
> If you feel that your questions cannot wait, then please refer to the TV Tropes page. They have their own explanations, plus links to the official SB threads.


	2. The First Looper: Sami Zayn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sami tries to adjust to their new reality. Dean helps him.

The First Looper: Sami Zayn

Dean stares at Sami. Sami stares at Dean.

"You don't know what I'm talking about, do you?" Sami accuses him, and then turns to walk away. "Fine—"

"Is your life repeating over and over again?"

Sami stops and turns around, shocked. He quickly rushes to Dean, looking around as if somebody is about to snap them up just for speaking of it. He's close again, and he whispers, "You too?"

Dean sighs. He wants to reprimand Sami for acting like this, paranoid as if somebody will hear and kidnap them and experiment on them or throw them into the loony bin. Yet the paranoia, however annoying, is understandable. Dean had certainly acted the same when he first started looping: lost and scared. However, he had been alone. Sami wasn't.

"Come inside. I'll explain everything."

* * *

Sami crosses his arms and scowls at Dean. "I don't believe you." He loudly claims.

Dean nods at that. Then he takes a thin, cylinder-like object out of his pocket. With a simple click, a light saber, black and red and streamlined flares to life. Sami gapes.

"I spent a loop as the twin brother of Kylo Ren." Dean explains.

Sami closes his mouth. "Okay, now I believe you." He then slumps into the Dean's couch, dejected. "So we're basically going to be reliving our lives forever?"

"I guess you could say that." Dean shrugged. "The loops  _will_  end one day, Sami. Just…not any time soon."

"How are you so calm about this?"

"Sami, this is only your second loop. Me? Unless someone's been stealth looping—"

"Stealth looping?"

"Looping without telling anyone they're looping or making big changes to baseline," Dean added without missing a beat. "Unless someone has been stealth looping, which I highly doubt, I've been at this alone for almost three hundred loops."

Sami blinked rapidly at that. "You've relived your life  _three hundred times_?"

"Actually, more than that." Dean admitted. "Around three hundred is when I started losing count. I'm actually a baby looper compared to most. The one who explained this to me, Twilight Sparkle, told me she's had billions, possibly trillions, of loops already. Granted, she's still nothing compared to the Original Seven, but then again, no one is."

Sami's mind almost broke at that.  _Billions of loops_? Just the scope of that was daunting. Dean saw his haunted look, and sighed.

"I was planning on joining WWE again this loop, but I guess that can wait." Dean said. "Come on, we're going on vacation."

"Vacation?" Sami parroted mindlessly.

* * *

"How did you get the money for all this?" Sami asked as he and Dean entered the first class cabin of their flight to the Bahamas.

"I've got various jewels and other valuable pieces stored in my subspace pocket." Dean explained as they filed into their isle. "I sell them on both legal and illegal markets through use of an intermediary whenever I need money for vacation loops and the like. It's a common practice for loopers to do, when their subspace pockets are big enough."

"Wonderful." Sami sighed. "Dean, I still don't understand how you're taking this so calmly. Just thinking about it wants me want to curl away in my house and forget the world for the next hundred years."

"Which is why we're going on vacation, Sami." Dean pointed out calmly. "I understand exactly how you feel, because I've been in your shoes before. But I've also had time to accept that the situation is beyond my ability to fix. Once you get around to that, you'll see that there are benefits too."

"Like the fact that you're speaking to me in French?" Sami asked, in French.

Indeed. One of the reasons why nobody had taken interest in their conversation is because they had been speaking in French since leaving Dean's apartment. Even if they could understand French, Dean had put up an illusion spell so anyone saw them assumed they were speaking about weather or some other inane subject.

"Yes, like that." Dean agreed readily. "You could learn new languages, live in a new country, have a new job — I've lived so many different lives and done so many different things, and there are only more to come. Plus, there are also fused loops, so we have that going for us as well. It's not the end of the world, Sami — in fact, it's the complete opposite. All we can do is just go along for the ride and enjoy ourselves."

Sami blew out a deep breath. "Alright, alright. I can accept that."

Dean smiled at him, and a comfortable silence settled between them for the next hour. Sami was perusing the guide Dean had handed to him, trying to familiarize himself the the terminology loopers used and other major looping events. That was another reason for the vacation — Dean wanted time to teach him the standard abilities loopers had, including accessing his personal subspace pocket and pinging to communicate with other loopers.

"Hey, Sami, quick question — if you hadn't come to me about this, who would you have gone to?" Dean asked, curious.

"Probably the Undertaker or Kane. If not them, Bray."

"Huh." Dean said. "Then they probably would've sent you to me."

"They're…" Sami quickly flipped through the book to the page he wanted. "'Loop-aware'?"

"Yup." Dean confirmed. "They know that time's repeating and that I'm the anchor, but that's it. They don't remember old loops or anything like that. They try to avoid me because of it. They know I'm more dangerous than any of them could ever hope to be."

"Will they start avoiding me too?"

"When you get more powerful, yes."

Sami grimaced. "I'm not sure if I should be happy about that."

"You'll feel that way about a lot of things." Dean commented. "Don't worry, you'll get used to it."

_I did, after all_.

* * *

Sami Wakes Up, and pings. He gets one response ping back. Not long after, he's off on the next flight to Florida.

He's much calmer this time around. He knows what's going on, and thanks to his loop memories, he knows nothing's different this loop. If he gets confused, he has access to a guide in his subspace pocket. And there was also Dean as well.

He can do this.

Dean opens the door and blinks. "Sami? You Awake?"

"I am. The vacation last loop really helped. Thanks for that Dean." Sami frowned when he saw Dean wince at his words. "Something the matter?"

"For me, that was five loops ago."

"Oh." That's right. Only Dean was Awake for every loop.

Dean simply reached out and patted him on the shoulder, like he was the one that need comforting. Okay, time to change the subject  _now_.

"So, what were you planning to do this loop?"

The Anchor shrugged. "I was thinking of trying to break the Honky Tonk Man's record for longest reigning Intercontinental Champion. But since you're here, you up for tag teaming?"

Sami raised an eyebrow. "I'm not even signed to NXT yet."

"When you get to the main roster, then."

"Alright." Sami crossed his arms. "You sure you don't want to go for the world title?"

"Sami, I've won that world title more times than the number of combined title reigns of world champion in the history of professional wrestling." Dean deadpanned. "Trust me, I'm fine with it."

* * *

The next couple of years waiting for Sami to make it to the main roster pass by in a blur. Then again, for Dean, years were like moments to him. He's become skilled at acting and playing along, keeping things just the way the are, having relived the Shield's first run a thousand times over. So when Seth brandishes that chair at him, he doesn't look surprised. He just offers himself to his brother and allows the pain to come.

The pain is nothing, really. He's been through worse, even before the loops. No, what had made the betrayal hurt was the emotional turmoil, and even when Dean had made amends with Seth the first time around, he isn't sure he ever really got over what happened. Now, however, he knows Seth better than Seth knows himself, so all he really feels is disappointment.

Wanting to get Seth out of the way quickly, Dean cuts a deal — he agrees to stay out of the Money in the Bank ladder match as long as he gets a fair shot at Seth without any interference at the following PPV. The Authority, a bit surprised, quickly agree, and this time Kane doesn't need to rear his ugly head for the match. Battleground sees them wrestle, and Dean wins, and that's the end of it.

Or at least it was supposed to be. Contrary to what many expected (but not Dean, never Dean), Seth is unsatisfied, and demands a rematch. Dean agrees, and Seth brings his cronies, and Dean wins again and  _then_  that's the end of it. Seth's self-esteem takes a hit, but then he ignores Dean and goes after others. Dean is fine with that, then takes a month off to film his  _12 Rounds_  movie.

The following months are routine, almost. There's Bray, of course, but Bray is scared of him beneath all his creepy promos. He can tell. Of course, Bray is one of the few who knows what he really is. The others are the Brothers of Destruction, which is why Kane has been avoiding him. And, of course, Sami.

Dean tags with Roman for a bit after he comes back from hernia, and then comes the Royal Rumble. He enters, fully intent on helping his best friend win and go to WrestleMania.

Or, at least, he  _was_.

* * *

"I thought you weren't planning on going after the title." Sami greeted him at his house in Florida. Now that he was publicly known to be making bank, he could afford a better place that was, thankfully, close to the Performance Center as well.

"I wasn't." Dean shot back, irritated. "It was an accident."

"You're telling me that you  _accidentally_  won the Royal Rumble." Sami asked, mirthfully. "How does someone  _accidentally_  win one of the most difficult matches in the history of professional wrestling?"

"They do that by being so focused on avoiding elimination by Rusev that they don't notice their best friend being eliminated by the Authority's pet giants." Dean groaned, flopping onto his couch, he legs splayed across Sami's lap. "After I got rid of Rusev, I saw them eliminate Roman, and before I knew it I was eliminating them from the equation too. Boom. Instant win. Hallelujah."

He was not nearly enthusiastic about his win as Philadelphia was, which seemed to have been drowning in screams and cheers the moment both giants hit the ring floor. Dean was showered in sparks and confetti, and after a moment's confusion played the conquering hero and pointed the sign where pyro (which thankfully was still around) exploded around it. Aka the same schtick that every other Royal Rumble winner for the last decade and a half had done.

"Well, at least Roman doesn't have to get booed during one of the most important moments of his career." Sami said genially, ignoring the pointed look Dean gave him. "But you do know what this means, right?"

"Yeah." Dean groaned once more. "Brock Lesnar."

"You can beat him, can't you?" Sami asked, mirth gone. Even with the loops, it would be a long time before he stopped being apprehensive of the Beast Incarnate.

"I can." Dean confirmed. "I've done it multiple times. But with this," he gestured to his right wrist, where the faint markings of some runes were tattooed into his skin, "it'll be a lot more painful than it would be at full strength."

The runes were something he picked from up another loop. Using a short incantation, they repressed major body modifications and abilities, including super strength and self-regeneration. Those abilities could be reactivated in a pinch, of course, should the need arise, but for wrestling, they could be constituted as cheating. Dean had promised to teach Sami the technique once the latter had some fused loops under his belt. The last thing either of them needed was to be accused of drugs or anything of the like.

"And that's provided, of course, that Seth doesn't cash-in during the match."

"I don't think he's going to cash-in during your match." Sami posited. "The one of the reasons he cashed-in during that match, the one he didn't mention, was because he didn't want to face Roman as well as Lesnar. Even though he couldn't quite admit, he still cared about you two. More than anyone else."

"That didn't stop him from ruining Roman's moment, though." Dean said, matter-of-factly. There was a time where his tone would've been bitter, but that had been a  _long_  time ago.

"He had to believe the betrayal was worth it somehow." Sami shrugged. "It's the same with you, but for different reasons. Dean, nobody expected you to make it this far this soon. They all knew you were capable, worthy of being world champion, but quite frankly with Brock Lesnar on top they think your chances are nil. After breaking the Streak everyone thought Lesnar was untouchable, especially when he crushed Cena. You and I, and perhaps Roman and a couple of others, know differently. You can beat him, as can any other member of the Shield, if you try hard enough."

"Seth knows you can beat him, but he's also positive you can't beat Lesnar, no matter how hard you try. So he's not going to bother cashing in, because he figures you aren't going to weaken Lesnar enough to make it a sure thing for him."

"And when I do beat Lesnar? You think he'll cash in then?"

Sami shrugged once more. "It'd be the ultimate finger, cashing in after your greatest moment. You did the same to him, remember?"

* * *

"You know what I didn't miss?" Dean snarled as he entered the terminal with Sami in tow. Another illusion spell was cast over them both so they could speak freely.

It was WrestleMania week, and Dean had just finished taping the last SmackDown before the show itself. After that, it was straight to Miami. First Axcess, then TakeOver, and then, finally, the Grandest Stage of Them All.

"Paul Heyman's weasly voice?"

" _Yes_." Dean hissed. "Even after all these loops, his stupid voice is still grating to my ears."

"I'm surprised you care." Sami stated, idly snacking on his sandwich. "We both know he's hot air. He'll deflate like the balloon he is when you beat Lesnar."

"Mostly." Dean sighed. "It does make me hope he won't be looping anytime soon. Or at all."

Sami blanched. "Don't say that, Dean! Now it'll happen!"

Dean laughed, then gave out a sigh of his own. "So, you ready to join the main roster?"

Sami nodded, clutching his arm. "Are you sure it won't pull out like last time?"

"Sami, I spent entire loops as a medically certified doctor specializing specifically in these kinds of injuries." Dean paused. "And I also spent entire loops studying healing magic. Trust me, you're fine."

"Alright. If you say so." Sami said, still slightly skeptical. "So after you win the title, how exactly are we supposed to become a tag team?"

"Well, if Seth doesn't cash in on me immediately, then I'll just pull double duty. It's not like that hasn't been done before."

"But won't that paint more of a target on you for the Authority?"

"Are you scared of them?" Dean asked instead of answering.

Sami thought about that for a moment. "No. Not really." And it was true. The Authority felt rather inconsequential in the grand scheme of things, with the looping and everything. Quite frankly, having lived two full lifetimes already, the whole lot of them seemed like children to him. He could only suspect how low Dean thought of them after all the lifetimes he lived.

"Then don't worry about it. Once the world title is off me and I make it clear I have no intention of going after it again, they'll leave us alone. You and I both know they only really care about the title. Us tag teams are below the radar."

"True."

* * *

Sami watched Dean strategically dodged several swipes made at him by Brock Lesnar. He was doing well so far, much better than anyone had expected. He had not doubt those watching were stunned at this development.

"Sami Zayn."

Sami turned around. "Roman Reigns. I'm surprised. I figured you'd be watching this," he gestured to the screen, where Dean had swiped out Lesnar's legs from beneath him. "In your own locker room."

Roman sat himself down next to Sami, a pensive look on his face. "Normally, I would be. But I've got a few questions for you, and I'm afraid I won't be able to ask them until you make it to the main roster — whenever that'll be."

"It'll be sooner than you think." Sami replied, one eye still on the match. "Management has already contacted me. They think I'm ready."

Roman paused. "Good for you then. Now, I have to ask — what's with you and Dean?"

"Nothing between the sheets, if you're wondering." Sami said dryly. "So if you're here to give me the big brother speech or whatever, sorry, but no dice."

Roman raised an eyebrow. "I wasn't, actually. I know Dean. You're not his type. I was just wondering why you two have gotten so close lately. I know you have history on the indies and all, but last I checked you didn't have  _that_  much history."

Sami shrugged. "Dean helped me out with few things when I was first starting out here." Which was vaguely true. Dean had helped him with a few things, but they were looping things. "We found that we had a lot of similar interests and started hanging out more. Nothing major."

Roman looked unconvinced.

Sami sighed. "Look. I'm not stealing your best friend away. No matter what you think, Roman, you'll always come before me, alright? You're his  _brother_  — nobody can take that away from you."

Roman took in a deep breath. "Alright."

The two continued to watch the match, wincing whenever Dean was hit particularly hard and making noises of appreciation when he did something impressive. When the tide began to turn consistently in his favor, Sami saw Roman turn away to glare at something. Following his line of sight, he spotted Seth Rollins standing there, fingers tapping away at his gold briefcase. At Roman's glare, he stopped, then promptly turned away.

"I guess that's the other reason you decided to sit here?" Sami asked, amused.

"He's already ruined enough." Roman huffed. "I wasn't going to let him ruin this."

"I'm surprised you never went after him." Sami commented. "Dean beating him a couple of times must have been satisfying for a bit, but I figured you two would think he deserved more."

"And normally you would be right." Roman admitted. "But Dean…when it happened, Dean wasn't surprised. And once the anger passed for me, I wasn't surprised either. In the end, we were only disappointed in him. Regardless of whatever he does, Seth is still our brother. Will always be our brother. And, with the Authority…" Roman shook his head, disgust on his face. "Seth's convinced he needs them. But Dean and I both know he doesn't, that he never did. And we just wonder what poison Hunter poured into his ear to make him lose so much faith in himself."

Sami nodded slowly at that, then turned to the screen. It was the closing moments of the match, Lesnar was charging and then — a kick from Dean, hooked arms and a planted face. New champion.

"You're not going to go out there?" Sami gestured to the screen, where Dean was celebrating his title win.

Roman shook his head again, this time smiling. "This is his moment."

* * *

Dean played the neutral, solemn face as he walked towards his locker room, the people left in the back wisely avoiding him, until he finally had privacy. Once inside, he locked the door and let out a woop of relief.

"Thank the Admins, carrying that belt around was a pain." He relished.

"You are no doubt the happiest person to have just lost a world title in wrestling history." Sami deadpanned, handing dean a towel and some water.

"Yup." Dean opened the bottle and started sipping the liquid inside. "Now I just need to tell Seth that I have no intention using my rematch clause and then we're home free! Tag titles, here we come!"

"What's your obsession with the tag titles anyway?" Sami asked, bewildered. "Surely you've won those titles quite a number of times since you started looping."

"I have." Dean conceded, his expression pinched. "But, unfortunately, my tag team partners turn on me if we hold the titles for long. Well, except for Seth and Roman. But both of those guys are too focused on their singles careers right now to have an extended reign with me." He then brightened. "I won't have that problem with you, right?"

Sami shrugged. "I can always win the world title next loop."

* * *

Seth, of course, was befuddled by his decision, as were the Authority who were all no doubt investigating him to see what his play was, even though there wasn't really a play. Dean wasn't worried — he had too much practice covering his tracks, and whatever amateur sleuths the Authority employed weren't going to find anything. Not to mention, Kane would no doubt head the investigation, and Kane knew better than to meddle into his affairs.

It's still a while yet before Sami is permanently on the main roster, so Dean decides to get a head start on the Grand Slam. He quickly beats Ryback, and loses the title in a battle royal around the end of May. Sami is officially signed to the main roster by that point, and that's when they decide it's time to get started on their tag team careers. Dean already has the paperwork drawn up, and despite a small issue with the team name, it goes through, lickety-split.

("InZayn Asylum?" Dean asks, looking down at the offered logo. "Really?"

"It's wrestling." Sami points out. Dean couldn't argue with that.)

They feud with a couple of more tag teams until they get their big break at SummerSlam, where they manage to outpace the New Day and win the titles. That earns them the ire of the Dudleys, but Dean and Sami do away with them too. Of course, then they get involved with Roman's war with Bray, and now Rowan and Harper want the titles, though they visibly hesitate when near Dean. Commentary loudly wonders why, but Dean isn't about to enlighten them.

Months pass. Seth doesn't get injured (which happens occasionally during these loops), and Sheamus' cash-in is foiled and he's forced to slink back into obscurity with no briefcase in hand. Roman's feud with Bray culminates in a TLC match this time, with Dean and Sami helping to run some interference with Braun after beating Harper and Rowan in their title match, and then finally, the Royal Rumble is here.

Roman stares at them when Dean admits he isn't going to be in the Rumble this year. Sami is, though in truth, it's only because it'd be weirder if he didn't join in with the match. As a former NXT Champion, not going after the WWE Championship first chance he got would raise a lot of eyebrows.

"Why not? You probably have more of a right to a match with Seth than anyone else." Roman protested. He's right, of course, but Dean is good leaving things as they are. Roman must think it's because of him (which he's somewhat right about), and doesn't want to impede his best friend's career like this, but Dean is honestly fine with it. There will be more opportunities, after all.

"It's fine, man. I'm good with this," he slaps the title belt on his shoulder, "and I'll cheer you and Sami on from the sidelines. So do me proud, alright?"

Roman stares at him a little longer, and then smiles. They bump fists, and that's the end of it.

* * *

Roman does do him proud, of course, winning the match. With no Authority targeting his back and no Triple H in the match to cause problems, he makes it to the end, eliminating Sheamus to cheers of the Orlando crowd. Sami does well, too, making it to the end before being eliminated by Brock Lesnar, who was eliminated only thanks to the combined efforts of the three remaining wrestlers, including the just-debuted AJ Styles.

Dean congratulates them both, and helps them back to the hotel. On the way back, they spot Seth, but summarily ignore him. Roman simply can't work up the energy, Seth has been avoiding Sami so Sami isn't about to stir something up, and Seth isn't the brother Dean is concerned with right now. Seth himself is a different matter. He spots them immediately, and zeroes in on Roman — and Dean.

Seth's reign has not been a cakewalk. Even without Dean, and to a lesser extent, Roman, to contend with, he's been fraught with top-tier challengers from the get-go. First it was Randy Orton, then Brock Lesnar, then John Cena, then Kane and Sheamus and various others. He's at the end of his rope, and mom and dad can barely do anything to placate him.

What wasn't helping were the  _rumors_. Unlike Brock Lesnar, Dean never once pressed his claim for a rematch, nor did he even try to. He even announced, to the world, that he wasn't planning to, and so far had held true to that claim. As a result, the whispers started. Seth wasn't the true champion. He hadn't beaten Dean, hadn't even  _wrestled_  Dean after that cash-in. And when he tried his luck with Brock Lesnar, he was manhandled and it was only because of the Undertaker that he didn't lose the title.

Seth had been able to ignore them at first, but constant defenses where he had barely managed to retain by the skin of his teeth, the huge amounts of pressure the Authority was putting on him, and, though he wouldn't admit, the stress of losing his two closest friends, was all wearing on him. He had gradually become more irritable, more angry. While Dean and Roman had pretended not to care, in secret, they were worried. They knew Seth better than anyone else, and they knew that when Seth became like this, good rarely came of it.

* * *

"Well, there goes your plan of not getting involved." Sami groaned as Dean used his waterbending to heal Sami of his wounds. Sami would still have to take a week off to sell the attack so no one would get suspicious, but at least he didn't have to spend that weak in pain.

"He's desperate." Dean said. "He needs the validation. He can't put up the bravado not anymore, he doesn't have even a sliver of his pride left to do so."

"So he went after me, to force you into facing him." Sami sighed. "But Seth can't have a title match this soon. Not with WrestleMania a month away."

Dean stopped healing, and then looked at his partner straight in the eye. "Roman talked to me while I was waiting for the medics to finish looking you over. He said that he's perfectly fine with a Triple Threat match too."

"Not gonna try to keep these?" Sami gestured to their belts, which were piled on top of each other.

"You and I both know that Seth is going to have the Authority put me in a title match next RAW and if I beat all three members of the New Day by myself it's only going to cause problems." Dean pointed out. "I might as well just nip it in the bud and go through with the challenge. And as for  _you_ …"

Sami rolled his shoulders. "I'm surprised Kev took so long to go after me. Or that he stuck around NXT for so long."

"I guess there was only room for one big NXT callup, and you were it this time around." Dean suggest. "Now it's him. I take it you two will have your match at WrestleMania?"

"Hunter himself says he'll try to squeeze us in. With no IC ladder match this time around, it might actually work."

"Hopefully." Dean muttered.

* * *

Roman Reigns sighed as he parted the curtain, belt on his shoulder and his daughter on the other. There, he could see an honor guard waiting for him. He exchanged hugs with Jimmy and Jey, Nia and Naomi and others, before finally reaching the last in the line. Dean was standing there, still sweaty himself, with Sami standing next to him.

"No hard feelings?" He asked, only slightly nervous.

Dean smiled. "Never." They embraced, Dean careful not to awake the slumbering JoJo.

After letting go of his best friend, Roman turned to Sami. While they weren't as close, the last year had made them good friends. The two men clasped hands, and Roman smirks. "You did good tonight too."

"Thanks." Sami smirked back. "I just hope it's enough to keep him off my back for the time being."

"You're not expecting forever?"

"I know better not to."

* * *

"And it finally happened." Dean said as he and Sami watched Seth limping out of the ring, aided by the medics. "He blew out his knee."

"And right after he lost to you again too." Sami noted. "Time for Rebuilding then."

"Yes." Dean nodded. "Hopefully he'll be better when he gets back. But until then…are you  _sure_  you don't want to go after the tag titles again?"

"Nah." Sami waved him off. "It was fun, Dean, and we'll definitely do it again, but I think I want to do other stuff for a while. With Shane back the brand split will be coming up soon, and that means two world titles. I'm going to win myself the briefcase and snag the one Roman doesn't have."

"And I guess I'll be facing Roman at SummerSlam then." Dean commented, looking at the most recent poll on . The question was "Who should challenge Roman Reigns for the WWE Championship at SummerSlam?" and he was at the top of the list. There's no way the Authority could ignore that, especially with their centerpiece out.

"Are you gonna give it your all this time?" Sami asked.

Dean shrugged. "Might as well. Ro will know if I'm holding back anyway."

* * *

"Nice belt." Dean pointed to the much more tastefully designed blue belt on Sami's shoulder. "Hopefully it's not cursed."

"Hopefully." Sami agreed. "I see you have a belt of your own as well."

"Indeed I do." Dean gestured to the WWE Championship on his shoulder.

* * *

Seth wins the 2017 Royal Rumble. He comes back bigger and better than ever, but now everyone can see the chip on his shoulder. He's completely, utterly focused on Dean, and Dean alone.

Dean doesn't care. No matter what Seth tries, Dean is completely straight-laced; a natural consequence of the loops. He has seen too much, done too much, to be intimidated by whatever pathetic tactics his brother tries to pull. Which, of course, infuriates Seth. The rage builds and builds, and the Authority take the brunt of it, until…

* * *

"WHY DON'T YOU CARE!?"

Dean turns around, and Seth is staring at him, heaving. They're in the middle of the ring, the arena having fallen silent to watch their confrontation. He pauses for but a moment, and Seth takes that as his cue to speak.

"Why don't you hate me?" It is quiet and desperate, even though it is heard by millions.

"Because I know you." Dean answers promptly. "Because we've been through too much together. I could never hate you, Seth. To be quite honest, I pity you."

The world took a breath at that, and Seth's mouth began to repeatedly open and close, astounded at Dean's response. That was clearly something he hadn't expected to hear.

"You're so talented. You were probably the best wrestler of the three of us, of the Shield, and maybe the entire world. This title would've found its way into your hands eventually, no matter what happened." Dean's words reverberated, a weight behind them that seemed even stronger than his usual fare. "But instead of waiting, of just accomplishing things on your own merits, you turned our back on us. You took shortcuts and relied on lackeys to reach the top, and I, and I'm assuming everyone else here, found that ridiculous. You didn't need any of that. You never did."

"I pitied you, Seth. I pitied you because I had faith in you." Dean took a deep breath. "I have more faith in you, than you have faith in yourself."

* * *

"Did you hold back?" Sami asked, as the last moments of WrestleMania were replayed on RAW for everyone to see. Dean and Seth embracing, after an unforgettable match, in which Seth finally turned his back on the Authority and won the title on his own merits.

Dean smirked. "Just enough. I didn't make it easy for him, but he prevailed in the end."

"'Prevail' — listening to you talk like that is going to be hard to get used to."

"But you will get used to it, won't you?"

Sami smiled. "Yeah. I think I will."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sami's intro is done. For the record, there have been no stealth loopers yet. I won't rule out the possibility in the future, but for now, it's Dean and Sami. The next looper I'll keep secret, but I will say it's one of the older members of the roster.
> 
> As for Dean's age, he has had more than three hundred loops. In fact, by the time Sami first Awakens, he's had close to a thousand loops. That's actually really late to start getting loopers, but there is a reason for this that will be explained in-story. As far as years go, he's around twenty thousand years old, give or take. That isn't particularly old for a looper, though for newbie loopers that's an entirely different matter.


	3. The Second Looper: Randy Orton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sami try to deal with Ruthless Aggression. Randy takes a trip through his past.

The Second Looper: Randy Orton

It is several dozen baseline loops, just as many baseline variant loops, and quite a few fused loops before they get another looper. By this time, Sami had become just as versed in the looping world as Dean himself. They were still babies by looper standards, and lightweights as well, but compared to the natives they were practically god-like both in ability and age.

During this time, Sami had come to realize why Dean had taken off so much time from wrestling. As wide as the wrestling world was, beating up your body day in and day out got tiring real quick when you kept doing it for more than one lifetime. After doing his own loops-long tour around the business, Sami had absconded to greener pastures and tried other ventures. He had found, much to his dubious merit, that he made quite the effective lawyer, and had delved into a number of occupations that geared towards knowledge of law and politics.

After a number of these loops, Dean and Sami had elected to take residence in a small town during a baseline loop and see if they could transform it into a city. They had mostly succeeded, and were in the process of creating a new charter when the loop ended. Sami Awakened to see a very unfamiliar ceiling above him.

"Sami?" Dean had Awakened as well, and he was looking blearily at him. That was odd. He wondered what kind of loop they were in to make them roommates.

"On it." He sent out a ping, and got none in response. So it was only him and Dean. Okay, nothing unusual. He then checked the loop memories.

He blanched as the images coursed through him.

* * *

"OVW. In  _2001_."

"The InVasion. The bridge between the Attitude Era—"

"—and the Ruthless Aggression Era." Dean felt like his head was about to burst. "This is not good. Not good at  _all_."

Sami could understand the sentiment. If even half the stories about this era were true, this would not be a pleasant loop. He was tempted to ditch OVW immediately with Dean and head to Korea, where they had been planning to visit for their next vacation loop. Anywhere but here would be better than dealing with this.

Before he could open his mouth to suggest exactly that, there was a knock at the door. The loopers exchanged looks, and as one, got up and opened the door in tandem. On the other side was a face that was both familiar and not: Randy Orton. Clean-shaven, young, with more hair than either of them had ever seen him with. Only those icy-blue eyes remained the same.

Well, that and the ever-so disdainful look on his face.

"I'm pretty sure you two shouldn't be here for another ten years." The third-generation superstar derided them with pleasure.

* * *

"Got proof?" Randy said once their explanation was finished. Dean didn't hesitate — seconds later he was igniting his light saber.

Randy observed the laser sword for a moment. "Okay then. I believe you."

"You're taking this surprisingly well." Sami commented, a little miffed.

Randy gave him a deadpan look. "Sami, by the time you were signed to WWE, I'd been a top star in this company for over a decade and had feuds with the Undertaker and Kane. This is hardly the strangest thing I've seen or been through. Granted, it's much… _grander_  in scope, but, well." He shrugged. "No point in complaining if you can't change anything about it."

"Funny." Sami snarked. "That's what he said." He gestured to Dean, who was deactivating his light saber and placing it back into his pocket.

"Then he's smarter than I gave him credit for."

"I heard that." Dean said, joining in on the conversation. "Though I will ignore it. The question is — what are we going to do this loop? You," He pointed at Randy, "need a crash course in looping, but after that we're basically home-free. We could either stay in OVW, get called up, and live through the Ruthless Aggression era, or I can sell some of the stuff in my subspace pocket and we can spend the rest of the loop in Tahiti or something. Either one works for me."

"I'm staying." Randy replied immediately. "I've got some unfinished business here. I won't blame you two if you leave though. You stick around here and you'll realize how spoiled the two of you were back in the first timeline."

"Baseline." Sami corrected.

"Whatever."

"Thank you for your input, Randy." Dean announced loudly before Sami could throw himself at the other man. "But Sami and I will make our own decisions after we're sure you won't be unprepared for your next loop. If that means sticking around OVW for a while, well, we've been through worse."

Randy snorted. "I doubt it."

* * *

"Why is Cena acting like a robot?" Sami asked incredulously as he, Dean, and Randy drove away from the arena. They had just finished a show, and were heading to get some food, preferably away from the rest of the roster. Money wasn't an issue — Dean had made it first priority to sell some of his goods to get them some 'get the hell out' cash in case it was needed.

"That was not Cena." Randy amended. "That was 'The Prototype', one of Cena's old gimmicks. He didn't start rapping until late 2002."

"Forget Cena, what about Lesnar?" Dean grimaced. "You were right when you said we were spoiled in baseline. Our Lesnar is a ruthless mercenary — this one's an  _asshole_."

"Yes. And the worst part is that we have to deal with this one every week." Randy sighed. "Not to mention what we'll have to deal with when we get to the main roster."

"Hunter?"

"Hunter."

"Stone Cold, too." Sami noted. "And The Rock, when he's not filming movies. Batista and Ric Flair as well."

"And Edge." Dean closed his eyes. "Watching it on TV is one thing, but seeing it all in person — I'll never be able to look at all those people the same after this loop, am I?"

"Nope." Randy said mercilessly. "Don't worry, I'll try to protect you." He didn't sound very sincere.

"What a  _relief_."

* * *

It's hard to keep their heads down in OVW while still standing out, but they manage, somehow. Randy gets called up and joins Evolution, while Dean and Sami go to SmackDown as a tag team. They win the titles a few times, try to stay relevant long enough not to get cut, and succeed…until Sami accidentally wins the 2003 Royal Rumble.

* * *

"Congratulations." Randy all but snarled. "What happened to keeping a low-profile?"

"It was an accident!" Sami almost yelled back, a little hysterical.

"How do you  _accidentally_  win the Royal Rumble? A Royal Rumble that has a young Brock Lesnar and a prime Undertaker?"

Sami pointed to Dean. "Ask him!"

Randy turned to Dean. At his questioning look, Dean shrugged. "I accidentally won the 2015 Royal Rumble once. I was aiming for Roman to win, but then he got eliminated and I eliminated those who eliminated him in return. Next thing I knew, confetti was raining down from the sky."

"Really?"

"Really."

"What am I going to do?" Sami almost whined, interrupting the byplay.

"Easy." Randy said, completely unsympathetic. "You either give up the match to someone else, or you try to make it to WrestleMania to face a prime Kurt Angle, while every main event talent on SD sees you as an easy target. Take your pick."

Sami, knowing Randy's infamous lack of kindness, turned to Dean instead. Dean, unfortunately for him, agreed with Randy's assessment of the situation. "It's your choice Sami. Though I will say that if you somehow make it to WrestleMania, it's unlikely you'll get released now." Having decided that they were sticking around this loop, the current goal had been to see how long they could last before Vince decided he wanted to be rid of them. This wasn't the New Era, after all.

"Fine then." Sami threw his hands into the air. "WrestleMania it is."

* * *

"You'll do." Dean hid his wince as he watched Chris Benoit walk away.

"That must've been awkward." Randy commented. He had come up behind Dean, only making his presence known after Benoit had left.

"On every single level." Dean agreed, nodding. "I'll end the match as quickly possible for that alone."

"Good. As for me, since I avoided injury, I've decided which match I want for WrestleMania this year."

"You're not going after Hunter's title early, are you?" Dean asked suspiciously.

Randy shook his head. "Nah. I can do that later when I go after Goldberg. I'm challenging the Undertaker instead."

Dean blinked.

"What about A-Train and Big Show?"

Randy snorted. "What  _about_  them?"

Dean sighed. "So your goal is to break the Streak early?"

"Nah." Randy denied, momentarily surprising Dean. "Even with all my experience and this younger body, there's no way in hell I'll be able to beat 'Taker when he's in his prime at WrestleMania. No, my goal is to get cred. If I can put up a decent enough fight, then people will take me more seriously when I go after the title." He then shrugged. "Besides, beating 'Taker's streak this early will make Hunter jealous, and I have no intention of doing that this early. It'll already be bad enough when I beat Goldberg."

* * *

"Hah!" Sami pointed victoriously in Randy's face. "Who's the screw-up now?"

Randy growled. Dean sighed. "Sami, shouldn't you be getting ready for your own match? You're in the main event, remember?"

"Oh, right!" With that, he fled towards his locker room. Dean watched him go before turning to Randy, his face betraying his own amusement at the situation.

"He's got a point, though. Ending the streak  _eleven years early_." The Lunatic Fringe shook his head. "Even I haven't done a big change like that in a while."

"Good for you." The Viper — no, Legend Killer, grit out.

Dean tilted his head. "I thought you'd be happier about this, even if it was against your plan. Your career is skyrocketing even faster than it was the first time around. Now everyone will take you seriously when you challenge for the title."

" _You_  don't have to deal with a jealous Hunter every week." Randy glared at him. "It won't be long until Evolution kicks me out, and when they do, I've got to deal with an unfriendly locker room on my back again.  _By myself_."

"Che, you'll live." Dean waved off his fellow looper's worries. "You aren't that wide-eyed brat anymore. You haven't been him in a long time. You know what it takes to survive here, and you  _will_."

"That's a lot of faith in a person you barely know, Dean." Randy observed, now smirking.

Dean shrugged. "Your a looper now, Randy. You and I and Sami — we've got the rest of eternity to figure it all out."

* * *

"I beat Goldberg." Randy's voice came over the airwaves. Dean and Sami, who had been snacking at their hotel room while watching RAW's latest PPV, stacked the cellphone between them. Even with speaker on, it was hard to hear their the Viper's voice. Curse early 2000's technology.

"So should we expect you to be beaten up by Evolution on RAW soon?"

"Yes. Can I crash at your guys' place?"

"We've already got a room set up."

* * *

"Well, at least this year's WrestleMania won't be as painful to rewatch." Randy commented as he and Sami watched Dean walk back towards gorilla on screen.

Sami glared at him. "Too soon, Randy. Too soon."

"Just saying the truth."

* * *

"I got to wrestle Eddie Guerrero." Sami said proudly, hands on his hips. "My life is complete."

"You lost." Randy pointed out. Next to him, Dean was fiddling with his own world title, now the only one between the three of them. Maybe he should keep this one…

"So? It's  _Eddie Guerrero_."

Randy sighed, pinching his nose. "Trust me, I know."

"So how was your first loop, Randy?" Dean asked, knowing it was best to move to another topic before the two of them started arguing again.

Randy smirked. "Fun. I gotta admit, you brats made these years hell of a lot more interesting than they were the first time around."

"Who the hell are you calling a brat, Randal?" Sami bared his teeth. "We've been looping for hell of a lot longer than you have. If anyone's the brat here, it's  _you_."

As the two descended into another row, Dean watched from the sidelines with a small quirk of the lips. Yeah, he could get used to this.

A second later, the loop ended.

* * *

"Where the hell are we?" Randy snarled out. He was now a pony. So were Dean and Sami.

Dean sighed. "Welcome to Equestria, everyone."

Next to him, Sami was attacked by a bunny.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not as long as the first two, but this is going to be the standard length of chapters. The first two have a lot of exposition in them. Here, no need for explanation, just establishing character dynamics.


	4. The Third Looper: Vince McMahon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vince starts looping. Everyone else is suitably terrified.

The Third Looper: Vince McMahon

It was another three dozen loops into Randy's looping career before they got another looper. For Dean that meant two or three times as many loops, but only the videos and DVDs and other visual records located in his subspace pocket could give him any scope as to how many loops it had been for him. This loop, however, he could never forget.

It was a quiet baseline loop. It was only Dean and Randy Awake, as Sami hadn't pinged back, and they had decided there would be no big plans this loop. That being said, they had decided not to go on vacation either. Instead, Randy had decided he was going to join Team Hell No (if only just to freak out Kane and Daniel Bryan) while Dean was going to see how much money and favors he could squeeze out of Paul Heyman to protect CM Punk before he snapped and sent Brock Lesnar after him and the rest of the Shield.

He was, in fact, in the middle of writing out his latest contract for Heyman to sign when he got a call from headquarters. A summoning from Vincent Kennedy McMahon. He hoped it wasn't anything serious — he'd rather not alert Vince to the treasure trove of blackmail material he had on him, because that usually resulted in assassins. Dean  _hated_  dealing with assassins.

* * *

When he arrived at Vince's office a few days later, he was surprised to see Randy there. "You got a call too?"

"Yes, which sucks because I think I was really getting through to Bryan." Randy sullenly answered. Had it been anyone else, they would've been disturbed by the response. As it was Dean, he merely patted Randy on the shoulder.

They entered the office, passing by pictures of the McMahon family's greatest moments, until made it to Vince's desk. To their surprise, there someone besides Vince already there. A very  _familiar_  someone.

A moment later, Dean and Randy were on opposites side of a flailing Sami, who was strapped to a wooden chair via duck tape. A  _lot_  of it. There was a small strap covering his mouth as well, though when he spotted his fellow loopers he perked up and started trying to speak, as fruitless as the effort was. Dean ripped off the duck tape in return, and Sami breathed in a sigh of relief.

" _Thank you_ , you have no idea how long that's been on my mouth." He said, panting.

"Are you Awake, Sami?" Randy asked, eyes narrowed.

"Yes,  _Randall_ , I'm Awake, and you can see why I didn't ping you back earlier." Sami looked down, gesturing to the mountains of tape keeping him glued to the chair. "I've been a little  _busy_."

"Why didn't you break out, then?" Dean asked skeptically. "It's only duck tape. You've already had a Naruto loop; compared to that, this is child's play."

"Because it's  _magical_  duck tape." Sami replied.

Beat.

"What." Randy deadpanned.

"I'm serious!" Sami insisted. "Whatever this stuff is, it's preventing me from using most of my abilities! I would've broken out already if it hadn't been for the tape!"

While Randy continued to stare disbelievingly at Sami, Dean took the initiative. He looked at the piece of tape he had ripped off Sami's mouth, and used a scanning technique that Harry had taught him that combined magic and chakra with a bit of spirit power to see if there was anything  _abnormal_  about an item. He blinked when he actually  _did_  sense something.

"He's not lying." Dean's announcement drew his fellow loopers' attention back towards him. "There really is some kind of energy emitting from this. Strong enough to restrain you as well Randy, though not strong enough to keep me at bay."

Randy blinked, and then turn back to Sami, a little astonished. "Alright, who the hell kidnapped you, Sami?"

"Isn't the answer obvious?" Sami said, raising an eyebrow.

Dean and Randy paused, suddenly remembering who, exactly, had called them to their office.

"…Where's Vince?"

"Right here!"

The three turned around (with Sami even using his legs to hop his chair for movement) to see the back of the room slide away to reveal a hidden room. Vince McMahon emerged from the entrance in all his glory, back straight, with his ever-present sneer on his face. Normal wrestlers would quail at this sort of sight.

None of these three men were normal wrestlers.

"Huh, that's a new one." Dean commented, as Randy and Sami gaped beside him.

"…What the hell?" Randy said eloquently.

Sami's jaw kept on dropping up and down.

Vince ignored all their reactions, and simply glared. "Now, you three have been screwing around a lot during these weird repeats, and I want to know why! This curse isn't going to break itself, you know!"

There was another beat of silence. His three employees (well, actually two employees and one prospective employee) turned to each other.

_Curse?_

Finally, Dean was the one to speak. "Vince, we need to  _talk_."

* * *

"…So this isn't some weird curse Mark cooked up and cast on us?" Vince asked, a little hesitant.

_Mark?_  Dean shook his head, figuring it didn't matter. He'd realize it soon enough. "No, Vince. This is beyond whatever Mark can do. And unfortunately, there's no way to stop it, at least not for us."

Vince stared at him for a long moment, then gave a short nod. "I believe you."

Everyone blinked. "Huh, you didn't have to bring out the light saber this time." Sami commented, still taped up.

"I've been at the top of the wrestling world before any of you boys were born." Vince stated. "And when you've been on the top this long, you see a  _lot_  of weird stuff. Admittedly, this is probably the weirdest thing that's happened to me yet, but that's fine. I can adapt."

"O… _kay_  then." Randy crossed his arms, frowning. "This was surprisingly easy."

"You know what else would be surprisingly easy." Sami said sweetly. "GETTING THIS TAPE OFF ME!"

Everyone else winced at the volume of his shout. Dean sighed, and with a flick of his wrist, his light saber appeared and cut through Sami's bonds like butter. Sami quickly ripped off the tape, standing and stretching in relief.

"Thank  _you_." He said rapturously. He then turned to his (future) boss, rubbing the bits of skin that had been touched by the adhesive side of the tape. "Where'd you even get that stuff anyway?"

"A gift from Mark back when he first started wrestling for the company." Vince shrugged. "According to him, it had the power to restrain 'other-worldly beings'. I didn't think I would ever have a use for it until you three came along."

"Mark, Mark — do you mean the Undertaker?  _That_  Mark?" Dean asked, having finally made the connection.

"Who else would it be?"

"Oh, you'd be surprised…" Dean muttered. There was an entire multiverse now, after all.

"Alright then." Randy said with finality. "If we're all good here, can we leave now? I don't want to give up any ground I've gotten on Team Hell No. I've worked too hard this loop for them to reject me now just because my boss just started looping."

"No." Vince glared at him, then turned to Sami. "You'll sign a developmental contract when you're finished with ROH, right?" He demanded angrily.

"Yeah, sure, whatever you want Vince." Sami sighed.

"Good. Now then, what am  _I_  supposed to do then?" He asked, now panicked. "There's no point in making more money if I can't take it with me to the next life."

There was another collective wince. "Actually…" Dean started.

* * *

"What else have you three learned over the years?" Vince asked with a terrifying gleam in his eyes.

Dean shrugged. "Take your pick. I've done pretty much everything. I've even been President of the United States."

That stopped Vince cold. "Really?"

"Yeah, it was a couple loops ago in fact. Us three wanted to see if we could get me to become President, with me, the candidate, being gutter trash and a former drug addict, Randy, my vice-president, a dishonorably discharged marine, and Sami, my chief of staff, a Syrian Muslim from Canada."

"And you succeeded?"

"Yes." Dean look visibly pained. "I kinda wish we didn't." Randy and Sami both nodded in agreement, also looking haggard at the memories.

"Fine then. If you three have done everything, then you can help me with my plan for my first loop: to make WWE the most powerful entertainment company in the world!" The Chairman began to laugh maniacally.

The trio watched him go, exchanging looks.

_Well, there goes this loop_ _'s plans…_

* * *

"Hunter!" Vince called out to his son-in-law. Hunter, currently in the process of conversing with some of the producers for tonight's RAW, turned around at the sound of his father-in-law's voice, and internally cringed. Dear Mr. McMahon had that grin on his face, and that rarely led to anything good.

"Yeah, pop?"

"I've just fired DeMott!"

Hunter blinked. "Wait, what?"

"Yeah, and I've already found a replacement!" Vince gestured to his right, where Randy Orton walked over to stand next to him.

"Yo." His former protege held up a hand in greeting.

Now Hunter was really confused. "Vince, are you alright?"

"I'm perfectly fine! Better than ever, really! This guy," Vince clapped a hand on Randy's shoulder. "Is going to whip those brats down in developmental into tip-top shape! Better than DeMott ever could! Just you wait and see. You'll be thanking me later!" With that, he turned and left, no doubt to hassle some other employee of his.

The two former members of Evolution watched him go, before turning to look at each other.

"What is he on right now? What did you say to him?" Hunter demanded, glaring. Vince hadn't been anywhere near this kind to Randy since that time Randy punted him in the head.

Randy shrugged. "Just the truth, Hunter. Don't worry about it. As for the trainer thing — he gave me orders, I just followed them."

"Please, you don't follow  _anyone_ _'s_  orders. Not since I kicked you to the curb eight years ago." A person could've sworn that steam was coming out of the Game's nose now. "What are you planning, Randy?"

Randy just gave him an unimpressed look and walked away, ignoring his former mentor's calls for his return. He had lesson plans to make.

* * *

"What are you doing?" Seth asked as he threw the remote he had been using to flip through the hotel's TV channels to the side. Beside him, a shirtless Dean was typing away at a laptop. From the corner of his eye, he could see what exactly Dean was typing, and he didn't understand a single jot of it.

"Code." Was his brother's succinct answer.

Seth stared at him. "You won't even lift a finger to tweet something, but you're perfectly willing to code a program into a computer you barely use?"

"No choice. I was ordered to."

"By who?"

"The Big Bossman."

Okay, now Seth was getting annoyed. "Dean—"

"Not  _that_  Bossman."

"Well, what other Bossman could it be?"

Dean stopped typing and looked at Seth as if he were stupid. Seth resisted the urge to throw his pillow at him. "Our Bossman, of course."

Our  _Bossman_ _…_  "Are you telling me  _Vince_  ordered you to code this for him?" Vince didn't exactly have a reputation for being  _current_.

"Yes." Dean bluntly answered, having already returned to coding.

Seth watched him in disbelief before giving up and turning back to the TV. Sometimes, it was better just to leave these kinds of things alone.

* * *

"And…stop!" Randy smirked as the group of recruits dropped to the ground in groaning heaps. "Congratulations, everyone! You're not  _completely_  hopeless!"

"Is he serious?" The former PAC, newly-renamed Adrian Neville, asked.

"Yes." Claudio Castognli, aka Antonio Cesaro, deadpanned.

"Maybe one day, you lot will be as good as Sami over here!" Randy continued, gesturing towards Sami Zayn, who was currently doing the exact exercise they had been doing, except twice as fast, while proofreading some paperwork that was sitting on the ground.

Sami was also a new recruit and supposedly a homegrown talent, though he was oddly skilled and experienced for someone considered as such. It was rumored he was an orphan trained by El Generico who had come to WWE to fulfill Generico's dreams. At least, that was the case for everyone who  _hadn_ _'t_  come from some form of wrestling background.

Everyone who had actually met and wrestled El Generico knew exactly who Sami was, but they kept their mouths shut for all their sakes. Kevin Steen was still on the indie circuit, after all — no need to give him any reason to come  _here_.

"Why is he doing paperwork?" Sasha Banks asked, once she caught her breath.

"I heard that it was part of his deal." Charlotte Flair answered, keeping her voice low as to not catch Randy's attention. "In exchange for no house shows, he had to play consultant for the company's legal and HR departments."

"Does Sami even have the background for those?" Cesaro whispered to Neville.

Neville subtly shook his head. "I haven't the slightest idea."

"If you four are done  _talking_ …" The four recruits nearly jumped when they heard their coach's voice behind him. They turned around to see Randy Orton glaring at them. "…then drop and give me fifty!"

"Sir, yes sir!"

* * *

"The recruits now have better cardio than most stars on the main roster, progress on the WWE Network has accelerated to the point that we can launch it six months ahead of schedule, in time for SummerSlam, and there's been a sharp drop in complaints to HR and lawsuits for the legal department." Hunter dropped the report back onto his desk. "What the hell."

Across from him, sitting side-by-side, were Randy, Dean, and Sami. Randy simply glared at him, Dean started tapping his fingers onto his lap while Sami gave a sheepish smile. "Just following orders?"

Hunter just looked at him and sighed. "Well, at least the loss in house show revenue wasn't for nothing. And that explains why Vince said you three have 'jobs for life' now."

"Where is Vince, anyway?" Randy suddenly asked, now wondering why it was Hunter handling this and not the ever-present Chairman.

"The stock has shot up and is beginning to stabilize. Vince is officially a billionaire again." Hunter said, as if that explained it all.

"XFL." Dean answered, quickly connecting the dots. Randy and Sami resisted the urge to groan.

"I take it he wants us with that too?" Sami asked, as if begging Hunter to say no.

"Yes." Hunter expressed his own displeasure at the notion — losing three major stars just to help kick off Vince's failed attempt at an NFL offshoot was not his idea of 'good business'.

"How long until he asks us?"

"Probably after next year's WrestleMania."

* * *

Wrestling's first three loopers watched silently as wrestling's fourth looper started dancing under a rain of confetti in the middle of a gigantic football field. Surrounding him, in the stands, were thousands of cheering fans. It looked like something out of a Lifetime movie.

"You guys up for a vacation next loop?" Dean asked suddenly.

" _Yes_."

"Best idea I've heard all loop."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The reason why Vince wasn't selected as anchor: poor impulse control and a distinct lack of empathy.
> 
> In other news, Corey Graves' wife has just revealed he cheated on her with Carmella. That's almost as disappointing as when I heard Seth had cheated on his fiancee with another woman, who also happened to be engaged (said woman is now dating Sonya Deville, surprisingly).
> 
> Never meet your heroes, my friends. At least, not your wrestling heroes.


	5. The Fourth Looper: Becky Lynch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Becky Balboa beats Lacey Evans in her first shot at the title; an underdog victory for the dark horse of women's boxing!"

The Fourth Looper: Becky Lynch

Becky Woke Up in the middle of a ring. It looked near identical to the ring she usually spent her nights, and her attire supported that. She was wearing a green sports bra and shorts, similar to one of her usual wrestling outfits. There were fans all around ring, cheering and screaming her name. She could almost believe that she was wide awake, at another show.

If it weren't for the leather gloves on her hands.

Becky blinked, staring down on the green boxing gloves. She could feel the tape wrapped around her fingers every time she stretched them out. Then, making the logical and understandable assumption that this was a dream, she looked behind to see who else was a part of it. To her surprise, one of her seconds (and likely coach) was Randy Orton.

"Randy!" She called out over the din of noise. Randy, who had been watching the corner opposite theirs, turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"What is it, Becky? Shouldn't you be warming up?"

"I'm just surprised to see you in my dream." Becky replied, happily. She and Randy weren't really close, they barely knew each other, but she wouldn't deny herself a familiar face in this weird dream. There  _had_  to be a reason he was here, after all.

Randy, for some reason, stared at her, confused. "What did you just say?"

"I said, 'I'm just surprised to see you in my dream.'"

Something that look like realization dawned on his face — realization and  _panic_. "Becky, what's the last thing you remember?"

"Going to sleep after a show." She answered matter-of-factly. "Like we do every night, of course."

Randy rubbed the bridge of his nose, then pulled her over closer to speak. "Becky, do you even know how to box?"

"A little. Enough to train in it, at least."

"Okay then, there's something I want you to do. Close your eyes."

Becky did just that.

"Now, try to remember something. Like what you had for breakfast."

She followed his instructions, trying to think back to breakfast — and a whirl of images passed through her mind. They were rapid and they came on strong, but most of all, they were  _many_. It was like living an entirely different life in the span of a few seconds. Becky absorbed the knowledge that came with this foreign lifetime, and before she knew it, she was back in the ring, now knowing exactly what she had to do.

As Lacey Evans entered the ring, Randy gave her an encouraging slap on the shoulder. "Go get her, girl."

Becky didn't disappoint.

* * *

Becky let out a wordless roar of success as the referee held up her hand in the air to the cheer of the crowd. Off to the side, Lacey Evans was being helped into a stretcher by both her concerned seconds and EMTs. Becky was completely oblivious to her as another official handed her prize for the fight — the championship.

The Irishwoman let out a small yelp as she was suddenly picked up and placed on her proud coach's shoulders. She went with it, however, and held her new belt high for everyone to sigh. Lights flashed as photographers and videographers alike caught glimpse of the new champion, the images to be plastered on every news outlet in the country. It would be a night no one would ever forget.

After the customary posturing, Randy let Becky down back to her fight and walked side-by-side with her to her locker room. As they were walking, Becky turned to Randy, still grinning wide. Even with all the sweat and the bruising on her face and stomach, she looked stunning.

"This isn't a dream, is it?"

Randy sighed.

"Unfortunately, no."

* * *

_Crack_.

Becky stumbled a bit, a little woozy. "Did we just apparate?"

"Yes." Randy said bluntly, fishing his pockets for the ring of keys he kept on his person.

"And our  _stuff_?" Becky continued, her bewilderment growing. "We had it all packed and everything, and a second later I see it all gone. Where'd you put it, Orton?"

"Don't worry, Becky, it's somewhere nice and safe and once everything is explained, I'll give all of it back to you. Don't get your panties in twist."

Becky grumbled, moving to the side so her companion could open the door. They had apparated to a large mansion, with sprawling acres of grass and topiaries. It was a sickeningly gaudy display of wealth, wealth that she had never been close to having, even during her time in WWE.

Randy inserted one of his keys and opened the massive oak doors to reveal the grand foyer at the front of the mansion. It had marble white floors and a golden sheen for a color scheme, almost blinding in how sparkling it was. Becky was torn between awe and disgust at the obscenity of it all.

"Come inside — I'll explain everything once everyone is here."

* * *

"There's my golden girl!" Vince McMahon cried with joy when Becky entered the ostentatious living room. Before she knew it, she was crushed in his (surpringly) strong embrace. After wiggling a bit so he would loosen his hold, Becky tentatively returned the hug, bewildered.

"…thank you?"

"No, thank YOU! Thanks to you, I'm going to be drowning in cash by tomorrow night! So many sponsorships and endorsements and bets — you are by far one of the best investments I've made this loop!"

Becky blinked at the blather her boss was currently making. She heard a sigh and a second later she was out of Vince's arms and was now in the grip of an exasperated Dean Ambrose. Dean had a hand over his face, looking like he desperately needed a drink.

"Sami! You done with the food yet? We're gonna need it!" Randy called out next to him, towards another opening which led to what looked to be a kitchen. A second later, Sami Zayn popped out, carrying a treasure trove of delicious-looking food. Becky felt her mouth water, and she licked her lips at the sight.

"Are you sure you want to eat first?" She turned to see Dean look at her with a bored look on his face. "The explanation for what's going on is pretty heavy."

Becky blinked, and looked longingly at the platter of food. However, she was a wrestler, and wrestlers were more disciplined than anyone gave them credit for. So she turned to Dean instead, and tilted her head, gesturing for him to continue.

"Alright. So it's starts with this tree…"

* * *

Becky squealed.

The men present flinched at how high-pitched it was. Sami, proving their Admin's kindness in making him the first looper after Dean, promptly stuffed a cookie into Becky's mouth; the sole woman of the group chewed on it slowly, savoring the rich chocolate taste.

"You're taking this well." Dean observed.

Becky finished chewing through the cookie and swallowed. "Of course! This is  _so_  cool! We basically get to do whatever we want for the rest of eternity!"

Dean winced. "Not  _exactly_  whatever we want."

Becky waved off his concerns. "Close enough."

"Not to mention, this won't last forever." Vince pointed out, then gave a look to Dean. "Right?"

"Right." Dean confirmed, though he looked a little hesitant. "The loops will end. Eventually."

"How eventually are we talking?" Randy asked, suspicious.

"Well, when I first met Twilight, she told me that the repairs on Yggdrasil are about 0.02% complete."

Everyone stared at him. "And?" Sami prompted.

Dean rubbed his arm sheepishly. "The Original Seven have had over trillions, if not quadrillions, of loops. I doubt there is a number that exists that could quantify how old they are."

They continued to stare. "So what you're telling me," Randy started, speaking slowly, "is that we really will be looping forever."

"Relatively speaking, yes."

Vince threw a cookie at him.

* * *

"Okay, so Bianca BelAir is supposed to be Clubber Lang's counterpart for this loop?" Sami asked, reading a newspaper recounting Bianca's latest match. Her in-loop style and mannerisms certainly matched Clubber Lang's character in the movies.

"Yes." Randy turned to Becky. "For the record, I have no intention of dying anytime soon."

Becky shrugged. "And I have no intention of losing like Rocky did, so I guess where square on that front."

"And for that publicity stunt we're pulling, you're going to be fighting Wendi Richter!" Vince cackled gleefully.

Everyone looked incredulously at him. "Isn't Wendi Richter supposed to be super old by now, considering how young we are?"

Vince shook his head. "It's the seventies, boys! Wendi Richter is more young and beautiful than she's ever been!"

Becky looked elated, before deflating visibly. "I'm going to have to fight her as a boxer instead of wrestling her, aren't I?"

Dean patted her on the shoulder sympathetically. He was getting quite good at that.

"We could always schedule another match later." Sami suggested.

"Won't people ask why Becky knows how to wrestle, though?"

"It doesn't have to be public."

"Won't  _Wendi_  ask why Becky knows how to wrestle? Not to mention the medical personnel we'll have to keep on hand just in case something goes wrong."

"It's alright guys." Becky cut both men short. "There's always next time."

_I can_ _'t believe I can actually say that and not sound crazy_. She thought to herself

* * *

" _Lana_  is Ivan Drago's counterpart?" Becky asked, completely bewildered. "Seriously?"

"I'm as surprised as you are." Dean commented, holding up a picture of Lana posing over a defeated opponent. "Especially since she looks every bit as skinny here as she does in baseline."

"How the hell is she supposed to kill Lacey in the ring?" Becky demanded. "There's no way she has the kind of power Ivan Drago has in those thin arms of hers. Hell, Lacey is more likely to kill  _her_  in the ring instead."

"According to these reports," Randy ruminated from across from them, "Lana is supposed to be insanely quick. Most likely, she's going to overwhelm Lacey with several barrages and knock her out — and kill her, should the loop leave that intact — that way."

"And where, exactly, did you get these reports?"

Randy held up a sheaf of papers. "The government. The Cold War, lady and gentlemen."

"Okay, so if Lana kills Lacey, what, exactly, am I supposed to do? Lacey didn't train me since I beat Bianca in our first match. There's no reason for me to go after her."

"You could wait for Lana to come after you." Dean suggested.

"But that could take  _years_! I don't want to wait that long! Do you?"

The three men (Vince having absconded to work) threw her deadpan looks.

"Oh, right." Becky slapped herself. "Loopers. Years are like minutes to you."

"Well, not  _exactly_ , but honestly, waiting a couple of years doesn't sound very daunting." Sami shrugged. "You get used to it."

"Well, I'm not used to it, and I want to fight Lana as soon as possible and retire so I can enjoy the last few years of the loop in peace before we have to go back." Becky crossed her arms. "Ideas?"

"You could spin it as you being abhorred at the disrespect Lana paid to Lacey and challenge her instead." Randy offered.

Becky rubbed her chin. "That could work."

* * *

Becky smirked at the photo they were placing on the wall. It was a picture of her standing triumphantly after knocking Lana literally out of the ring at the end of their fight. A dominant end to the last battle of her boxing career. Now she was officially retired, and all that was left was waiting for the loop to end.

* * *

Ten years later, Becky was still waiting for the loop to end.

"Why hasn't it ended yet!" She screamed, pounding on the wooden table in front of her. Dean, who was currently planning a premature digital revolution so he could corner the market for more cash, didn't even blink, instead picking up his coffee so it wouldn't spill.

He and Becky were the only ones at home. Vince was in the process of trying to pick up some of WCW's future stars so he could trample on WCW even more when Hogan signed with them.

"You probably have to do a couple of more movies. If I remember right, we still have the sixth Rocky movie and those two movies starring Creed's kid that we need to do."

Becky was absolutely horrified. "But that will take  _decades_! Is there anyway we can end it earlier?"

"Short of killing me? No." Dean deadpanned. "And even if I were at the point of considering it, I wouldn't because I'd just end up somewhere worse afterward for crashing a loop."

Becky looked at him quizzically. "And how are you sure about that?"

"Becky, I know for a fact that we taught you about punishment loops. I don't care how bored you are, Eiken will be worse and I refuse to go there if I can avoid it."

The Irishwoman was about to argue her case, until the doorbell rang. Huffing and gesturing to Dean that this wasn't over, she went to open it, and blinked. A child was standing there, wearing a white shirt with a blue horizontal stripe in the middle, blue pants, and red and white sneakers, with a red baseball cap snugly fitted on his heated. His most striking feature, however, was his round and proportionately gigantic nose, which put Hunter's to  _shame_.

The child looked vaguely familiar, but for some reason, she couldn't put her finger on how she knew him.

"And who might you be?" She asked kindly.

The child grinned idiotically. "I'm Billy!"

A second later, Dean appeared, and he descended upon Billy with a knife in hand. Horrified, Becky moved to stop him, barely wincing when the sharp blade grazed her skin and left a shallow cut.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING!"

"Becky, move!" Dean growled, already trying to shove her away with his suddenly unlocked powers. It was difficult to do, seeing as he didn't want to actually harm her. "We need to kill him quick before—"

"KILL HIM!? We can't kill a kid Dean!"

"You don't understand—"

"Hey, what does this do?"

After that, Becky and Dean only saw a white light.

* * *

Dean Awakened — and grimaced. "Shit." It was a classroom, filled to the brim with large-chested woman. To the side he could see Sami, Randy, Vince, and Becky all awakening. Becky's own chest seemed to have grown disproportionately larger as the result of the loop.

Sami blinked, blanched, and turned to Dean disbelievingly. "You crashed the loop?"

"No." Dean ground out. "Billy did. Becky stopped me from killing him before he could, which is why we're here."

"Billy…you don't mean  _that_  Billy, do you?"

"Who else could it be?"

Randy turned angrily to Becky. "Why didn't you let Dean kill him!?"

Becky held up her hands in defense. "He's just a kid!"

"Becky, Billy is older than  _Dean_." The Viper deadpanned.

Becky blinked. "You're kidding, right?"

Dean let out a frustrated sigh. "No, Becky, he's not. Billy is way older than me. If I'm a child in looping terms, he's middle-aged. However, that's not the problem — he was an MLE. Not only were we within our rights to kill him, we were  _expected_  to kill him, because if we let him be he would somehow manage to crash the loop no matter what precautions we made. And in a loop that's near-Hub like ours and Rocky, that's spectacularly hard to do."

Becky shrunk into herself as the boys continued to glare at her, and crossed her arms, mumbling. "He didn't  _seem_  that mean…"

"That's because Billy isn't a traditional MLE." Sami said tiredly. "He isn't actively malicious. He's just so stupid that he's threat to everybody, up to and including himself. He's killed hundreds of loopers older and more power than us and crashed even more loops by complete accident, all because he was too much of an idiot to have any self-awareness about his actions. The only reason his home loop doesn't crash all the time due to his presence is because the Anchor there is  _literally_  death himself."

"Normally, a loop crashed by an MLE isn't followed by a punishment loop. However, since you stopped me from killing him to prevent the crash, our Admin sent us here so you'd understand  _why_  I wanted to kill him and won't make that mistake again. Because I can assure, we  _will_  meet Billy again." Dean continued, his anger waning at how downtrodden Becky was becoming. He sighed once more. "You do understand now, right?"

"Yeah." Becky said, subdued and thoughtful.

"Good." Dean turned back to the rest of the classroom. "Now we just have to survive  _this_  loop."

"I don't see what you boys' problem is!" Vince boomed, having kept out of the conversation until now. "This place is great!" He ogled the various girls around him, admiring their full figures.

"I wonder if you'll keep talking like that when you realize our pockets are locked." Randy muttered.

"Wait, what?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally, a woman! The inspiration for this loop, of course, came from one of Becky's many tweets. You may remember "Becky Balboa" from a couple of years ago, back when Becky was our smiling, pun-making face.
> 
> The next chapter will be an interlude. Instead of a new looper, we're going to glimpse at some loops our fearsome fivesome have together — across the multiverse.
> 
> As for Billy, that was Billy from the  _Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy_ , and yes, he is an MLE for no reason than his complete stupidity. As far as looping history goes, there is an entire period dedicated to Billy's activation and the resulting chaos that came from it until he was officially declared an MLE (and thus, free game for loopers to kill without repercussions), called  _The Hurricane_. The Post-Hurricane era was dealing with aftermath of his "rampage" and saw the activation of several new loopers (most prominently Gendo Ikari), loops, and variants.
> 
> Note that Billy is  _not_  an Anchor. The anchor for his loop is Grim (aka the Grim Reaper himself, hence why he doesn't crash his home loop often — it's hard to kill Death himself, after all).


	6. Interlude I: Across the Multiverse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Snippets of the loops in-between.

Interlude I: Across the Multiverse

**1.1**

Randy Awakened — and blinked.

Trading cards. Trading cards  _everywhere_.

 _Dean_ , he thought, hysterically,  _I need to talk to Dean_. He didn't even bother with a ping.

Lucky for him, Dean was very much Awake, and answered, cool as a cucumber. Sometimes, Randy really hated how chill his Anchor could be.

"I take it you saw the trading cards?"

" _What the fuck,_ Dean!?"

"Did you check your loop memories?"

"No! And something tells me I don't want to!"

Randy heard a long-suffering sigh, but felt absolutely no guilt. He may have gotten a hang of this looping thing, but he had  _limits_. And this — whatever this was — was  _way_  beyond them.

"In this world, we're not wrestlers." Dean explained. "We're professional duelists."

 _Duelists?_  "Like Yu-Gi-Oh?"

"Not  _like_  Yu-Gi-Oh; this is a fused loop  _with_  Yu-Gi-Oh. I just got off the phone with Yugi Moto himself right before you called."

"…Oh." Randy paused for a moment, before speaking again. "Vacation loop?"

"Vacation loop."

* * *

**1.2**

"Well, at least it's not 'Lunatic Fringe' again." Dean commented, looking at his bounty poster: "The Kingpin" Dean Ambrose, worth 500,000,000 beri.

"How in the hell did you get this nickname?" Randy demanded, holding up a poster to Becky's face: "The Man" Becky Lynch, worth 150,000,000 beri.

Becky gave him a thumbs up and a wink. "Sheer ingenuity. Same way Sami got his!" She gestured to Sami, who was rubbing his chin thoughtfully over his own poster: "Orphan-Lover" El Generico, worth 300,000,000 beri.

Vince looked over Sami's shoulder and laughed. "Ha! Sami got a higher bounty than you, Randy!"

" _What_." Randy hissed, following Vince's lead and ripping the poster away from Sami's hands, earning him a glare. He ignored his fellow looper and cursed when he saw that his long-time boss was right. To the World Government, "The Viper" Randy Orton was worth 200,000,000 beri, a hundred million less than El Generico. "Oh, hell no! I'm worth less than a man who has ' _Orphan-Lover_ ' for a nickname?"

"Yes." Sami said bluntly, snatching his poster back. "Get over yourself, Randy."

"What did you say, you little—!"

"You heard me, you stupid son-of-a—!"

As the two continued to bicker, Dean and Becky ignored them and turned their attentions to Vince, looking at him expectantly. The old man smirked, and displayed his own picture: "The Devil" Vince McMahon, worth 700,000,000 beri.

"You're worth two hundred million more than me." Dean noted, eyebrows shooting upward. "Do we want to know why?"

Vince just laughed.

* * *

**1.3**

Dean groaned when he heard his phone start to ring. Didn't he tell those bastards not to bother him this loop? That last one with Saitama had been a complete  _bitch_  — by the time he had gotten to the superhero and herded him elsewhere, dear Caped Baldy had accidentally wiped out half the roster with one of his punches. The 'hero' hadn't even bothered to be repentant about it, only lamenting how weak everyone was. After that travesty, Dean had quickly decided a vacation loop was in order. As soon as this loop started, he quickly hotshotted his popularity to the top so Vince could give him part-timer status as soon as possible. Once that was done, Dean absconded to home and told everyone not to contact him unless it was time to prepare for WrestleMania.

The phone continued to ring. Dean knew he couldn't put it off any longer and decided to bite the bullet, picking up the phone and accepting the call. "Hello?" He said groggily.

"Dean!" Vince. Fuck. "There's some brat with orange hair in Hunter's Cruiserweight Classic that we haven't seen before. We think it's a visiting looper. Both Sami and Randy find him familiar but they don't know from where."

"What's his name?" Hopefully it was someone with some margin of self-control. Visiting loopers tended to forget that their loop wasn't as adaptive as others — that's probably why they had been getting less of them lately, and began visiting other worlds in their stead.

There was a sound of shuffling papers. "Ah. Here. Ichigo Kurosaki."

Dean bolted right up. "I'll be on the next flight to Orlando. Book me a hotel room as close to the Performance Center as you can."

* * *

Ichigo sighed as he toweled himself off. That match had been brutal, and he had to pull out more moves than he thought he needed to, but he pulled through in the end. Granted, it had been a while since he had wrestled in general, so that might have played a factor. Who knew skiving off a loop to play professional wrestler would turn out to be so useful later down the line.

There was sharp knock on the door. "Come in."

An unfamiliar young man with brunette hair rushed inside, quickly closing the door and locking it. Ichigo stopped drying his hair to stare at his visitor.

"I take it you're the local Anchor." It was more of a statement than a question.

"Yes." The young man confirmed, taking in a deep breath. "Dean Ambrose, Anchor of the Professional Wrestling Loop. Are you really Ichigo Kurosaki?"

Ichigo smirked. "I take it you know of me?"

"You're one of the  _Original Seven_ , of course I know of you."

The shinigami crossed his arms. "How many have you met already?"

"Four. Or five, I guess. Ranma, Naruto and Kurama, Harry, and Usagi. You're the sixth. For the others, though, you'll be the first to third."

"Only six?" Ichigo raised an eyebrow. "You guys really are a new loop, huh. I pinged and got pings back but nobody bothered to check up on me. I take it your loopers haven't realized who I am?"

"No. They read your name a while ago, but, well…"

Ichigo cut Dean off. "It's alright. We'll meet soon enough. Now tell me — who the hell did I replace?"

"You don't know?"

"No. All I got from my loop memories is me growing up as a rich kid and a bunch of matches that blur together into one. The only memory distinguishable is me partnering up with some guy named Kenny Omega."

That stunned Dean. "Holy shit. You're Kota Ibushi."

Ichigo blinked. "I take it he's pretty famous in your loop?"

" _Yes_." Dean replied, still in disbelief. He continued to mutter to himself, almost in a trance.

Ichigo watched this go on for a minute, then sighed. Definitely a newbie.

* * *

**1.4**

"Burn baby burn, disco inferno…" Dean Snow, born Aegon Targaryen, hummed to himself as his dragon did exactly that to that ugly chair everyone insisted he sit on. There was no way he was going to play ruler again — he had enough politics after the Presidential DebacleTM.

Ser Randall "Randy" Lannister, former member of the Kingsguard, stared at the flames. "I can't believe we're melting down the Iron Throne. How is this my life?"

"The same reason why we're stuck reliving our lives over and over again." Sami zo Loraq answered, completely unperturbed. "Because the universe fucking hates us."

"I, for one, am annoyed with the fact that we can't roast marshmallows over that fire." Rebekka "Becky" of the Free Folk piped up. "That is something I've  _totally_  dreamed about before, and I'm sure I'm not the only one."

"Oh, certainly." Sami replied, tone dry.

Dean payed no attention to the commentary, instead gesturing for his dragon to stop and admiring the mass of melting hot metal that was now slithering and flattening out on his throne room's floor. God, what a beautiful sight.

Suddenly, the room's wide doors slammed open. There stood Lord Vincent Arryn, carrying what looked to be a sack of gold and other valuables with visible glee. Evidently, he had just finished interrogating the now-former Master of Coin Petyr Baelish, whose head was no doubt chopped off and mounted on a spike outside somewhere by now.

"We're rich!"

"We're already rich." Randy deadpanned.

"We're rich _er_!" Vince amended without missing a beat. "Dean, are you done melting that hunk of metal? You are? Great! Quick, everyone, let's grab the fastest ship and head to Essos already! That hot dragon chick can't conquer Slaver's Bay by herself, you know!"

"Why is he in such a rush?" Sami muttered to Becky. He, after all, had just come  _from_  Essos.

"My guess? He doesn't want to be here when the ice zombies come." Becky whispered back.

* * *

**1.5**

"Hello there! Welcome to Camp Camp—"

"It's Camp WWE now, dammit!" Vince crowed, walking past. "Now hurry up with the talky-talky already, Larry!"

"Actually, it's Dav-"

"I don't care, dammit! Hurry up already!"

"So I take it that's how he usually is in your loop?" Max asked drily, watching the interaction with his usual cynicism.

"Worse." Dean, significantly shorter and younger, deadpanned. "And if this place actually were Camp WWE then you'd see how much worse."

"Wait, Camp WWE is actually a thing?"

"A cartoon. An original on our company's personal streaming service. I've looped in there." He twitched. "I hope to never do so again."

Max hummed, then handed him a bar of chocolate. Dean took it gratefully as they watched Vince get bitten in the ass by Muack.

"You know how vain a hope that is, right?"

"Yes." Dean admitted. "But a man can dream, can't he?"

* * *

**1.6**

"Why the hell are we cuttlefish!?"

* * *

**1.7**

"So, I'm Ron Stoppable." Sami enunciated slowly.

"Yes." Becky nodded vigourously.

"And you're Kim Possible."

"Yup."

"And I have a naked mole rat."

"Uh!" Rufus the Naked Mole Rat said, bursting out of his pocket.

Sami ignored him. "Then who in the hell is Anchoring the loop?"

Just then, a beeping could be heard. After searching themselves for an embarrassingly long time, Becky held up the Kimmunicator ("Shouldn't you rename it?") up for all three of them to see. Sami tried to bat Rufus away as Becky pressed the on button, blinking as the screen flared to life to reveal…

"Dean?"

Dean Ambrose, sitting in front of numerous computer monitors and sipping on some soda, held up a hand in greeting. "Yo."

"I will never get used to seeing Dean as a computer geek." Becky whispered to Sami, leaning back so her lips were level with his ear.

"I heard that." Becky and Sami flinched. "Whatever. Anyway, I've got a mission for you two."

"A mission…" Sami trailed off, as Becky slapped her forehead.

"That's right. Dress up, go to school, save the world. Teen heroes and all that."

Becky took a deep breath. "Alright then. What's the sitch?"

* * *

"Why is it that no matter where you loop, you're always a dick?" Sami asked blandly. He was tied up, hanging upside down above a vat bubbling green chemicals.

Randy Orton, or Snego, shrugged. "I'm an asshole. You knew that long before you met me, Sami."

Off to the side, Becky was dodging blasts from the maniacally laughing "Dr. McMakken" and his glowing staff.

"You may think you're all that, dammit—!"

Becky kicked the staff out of his hands and kicked him in the gut.

Dr. McMakken hit the wall with a splat. "—but…you're noooo…"

He was out like a light. Becky turned to Randy and glared. "Now, as for you…"

Randy didn't blink, quickly pulling down a lever that magically appeared next to him. The vat of chemicals was soon covered with metal doors and Sami was released from his bonds, landing with as much grace one could manage after hanging upside down for several minutes.

THUD!

"Ow…"

None at all.

"Congrats, Becky Possible, Sami Stoppable, you win." Randy said blandly. "Now, I'm going to flee with my boss into the night. You will not follow me."

"And what makes you say that, huh!?" Becky snarled. Sami said nothing, still trying to get his wits about him.

Randy didn't bother replying, instead opting to activate his until-then-hidden jetpack, flying away with Dr. McMakken in tow.

"See." Sami groaned. "Dick."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We're going to the next looper soon. I won't say who it is, only that they're already in the WWE Hall of Fame.
> 
> In other news, Roman's in  _remission_! Take that, cancer! You may have taken my stepmom, but you won't take one of my favorite wrestlers!
> 
> Now, for loop commentary:
> 
>  **1.1** : For the record, Dean is perfectly capable of playing Duel Monsters and winning with a decent record. However, he doesn't want to deal with all the bullshit that comes with being a plot-important duelist.
> 
>  **1.2** : The story of how Vince got a higher bounty than his Anchor shall forever be lost to the annals of time.
> 
>  **1.3** : Saitama may or may not show up in a later snip. The Original Seven, for those of you not willing to do the research, are Ranma Saotome ( _Ranma 1/2_ ), Usagi Tsukino ( _Sailor Moon_ ), Naruto Uzumaki and Kurama the Nine-Tailed Fox ( _Naruto_ ), Harry Potter ( _Harry Potter_ ), Shinji Ikari ( _Neon Genesis Evangelion_ ), Ichigo Kurosaki ( _Bleach_ ), and Lina Inverse ( _Slayers_ ). They're the first seven known anchors of the multiverse, and are the strongest beings that aren't Admins. The only loopers that hold up to them are the aforementioned Saitama ( _One-Punch Man_ ), Son Goku ( _Dragon Ball Z_ ), and Superman ( _DC_ ).
> 
>  **1.4** : Funny thing — Westeros isn't looping. If they are, I haven't read a snip about them on Spacebattles. As for who's replacing who:
> 
> Dean — Jon Snow / Aegon Targaryen (the loop was a merge between book and show canon)
> 
> Sami — Hizdahr zo Loraq
> 
> Randy — Ser Jaime Lannister
> 
> Vince — Lord Jon Arryn
> 
> Becky — Ygritte
> 
>  **1.5:**  The Camp Camp loops are also a relatively new looping universe. You can find their compilation in my bookmarks, for those of you reading on AO3. And let's face it — Vince is just less evil version of Cameron Campbell, and you all know it.
> 
>  **1.6** : This is not the first time loopers have been cuttlefish.
> 
>  **1.7:**  Or — how the live-action  _Kim Possible_  movie should've been casted.


End file.
